Q & A
by Redeem147
Summary: Buffy, Spike and an inquisitive daughter. A series of vignettes.
1. Default Chapter

Q & A  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Buffy sat the little girl at the kitchen table. "Can I have my sippy cup?"  
  
"Meredith, you're too old for that sippy cup." She couldn't resist the tiny pout. "Oh, okay. But you drink all your milk."  
  
"Yes mommy." She took a little drink. "Mommy, how did you meet daddy?"  
  
[He tried to kill me.] "At school, honey."  
  
"And he was really, really nice. Right?"  
  
[He was a homicidal vampire with a nutcase girlfriend.] "Yes, baby. Drink your milk."  
  
"What did you do on your first date?"  
  
[Got drunk and watched him cheat at kitten poker.] "We went out to a club with your Uncle Clem."  
  
"Oh." She took another drink, as Buffy stacked the dishes. "When did you know you loved daddy, mommy?"  
  
[When I yanked down his zipper, jumped on him and looked into his eyes. Not that I'd admit it to either of us.] "Oh, honey, I just knew."  
  
"And then you got married right away, right?"  
  
[And then I treated him like garbage for the better part of a year. Until he finally snapped.] "Not right away. We didn't want to rush things."  
  
"And then you decided to have me," the little girl grinned, knowing that every important story would inevitably lead to her.  
  
[The souled vampire manual had a few blank pages.] "Sure, honey. Mommy and Daddy wanted to make someone else special to love."  
  
"And you were both very, very happy."  
  
[Oh, yes.] "Oh, yes."  
  
The little girl climbed down from the chair, and pulled her mother down to her level. Putting her little arms around Buffy's neck, she said, "I love you, Mommy. Do you love me?"  
  
[I love you both so much I think I'd die again if anything happened to either of you. I love you both so much that sometimes I think my heart will burst right out of my chest. I love you both so much I would kill to protect you.] "Yes, Sweetheart. I love you and daddy very, very much." 


	2. Q & A 2

Q&A #2  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
"Wake up, daddy!" The little girl climbed onto her father's chest and yelled into his face.  
  
Spike opened one bleary eye. "Hello, cutie. Let daddy sleep. Please." He looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand. "Meredith, it's only noon. How many times do mommy and daddy have to tell you?"  
  
"Don't wake daddy up when sun's up." She jumped up and down. "Come play with me, daddy."  
  
"Where's mommy?"   
  
"Doing laundry in the basement. I was helping."   
  
"And why aren't you helping now?" He tried to pull the blankets over his head, but little hands pulled them back.  
  
"I want to play." She threw her arms around him. "I want to play with daddy."  
  
"Oh, bloody hell, Meredith ..."  
  
"Bloody hell," she called out in a sing song voice. "Bloody hell, bloody hell, bloody hell ..."  
  
Spike gently placed his hand over his daughter's mouth. "Shh, pet. Mommy will hear. Mommy wouldn't be very happy with daddy."  
  
"I've got some blood." She climbed onto the floor and picked up her sippy cup. "It's yummy."  
  
"Meredith, love, where did you get that? Show daddy." He took the cup from her hand, opened the lid, and sniffed at the red liquid. "Ah," he sighed. "Cherry koolaid." He handed her drink back. "Who told you this was blood, pet?"  
  
"Auntie Dawn. I said I wanted blood like daddy, and she gave me some."  
  
"Oh, joy. Where's Auntie Dawn now?"  
  
"At the mall. Will she buy me a present, daddy?"  
  
"Dunno." He lay back down. "Go drink your, um, blood, pet, and let daddy sleep."  
  
"You a vampire, daddy?" She lay on the bed beside him. "What's a vampire?"  
  
That caught him off guard. They had managed to keep her pretty well protected, up to this point. "Who told you about vampires, love?" he asked, sitting up beside her.  
  
"Auntie Dawn says the Count is a vampire. Can you count, daddy?" She demonstrated. "Vun, two, three ... uh, uh, uh."   
  
He sunk back down. "Tell Auntie Dawn to keep her opinions to herself. Daddy is not a muppet." He groaned. "Please go help mommy, pet. Let daddy sleep."  
  
She heard her mother calling from the hallway. "Meredith. Where are you? You better not be waking up your father."  
  
"Bye bye." She picked up her cup and climbed off the bed. "Love you daddy." She ran out the door.  
  
"Love you too, pet," he sighed, falling back into unconciousness. 


	3. Q & A 3

Q & A #3  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Meredith rolled with delight in the backyard grass. Everything was fresh, green and alive. Buffy laughed at her daughter, for the sheer joy of it. It was a perfect sunny, summer morning.  
  
The little girl lay on her stomach, her chin propped on her hands. "Mommy, I want daddy to come play with me. Can he come out and play?"  
  
"You know he can't, sweetie." She sat down on the lawn beside her daughter. "I'll play with you."  
  
Meredith frowned. "But I want you and daddy. Why can't daddy come out with us?"  
  
"Come here." She pulled her daughter onto her lap. "I'll try to explain. You know what you always want to take to playgroup, but we won't let you?"  
  
Meredith thought for a moment. "My goldfish?"  
  
"Okay. That's true, but ..." She kissed the little girl on the forehead. "What snack can't you take to playgroup?"  
  
"Peanut butter crackers?"  
  
"Right. And why can't you take peanut butter to group?"  
  
Meredith knew the answer to that one. "Because it could make Annie very, very sick. She could even," her voice dropped dramatically, "die."  
  
She hugged the child closer. "Honey, sun is like peanut butter to daddy. It can make him very, very sick."  
  
The little girl considered that. Her eyebrows knit together. "Even die?"  
  
"Oh, sweetie." Buffy felt tears sting the back of her eyes. "Don't worry. We'll keep daddy very, very safe."  
  
"He can have my Hello Kitty umbrella."  
  
"I'm sure he'd be very thankful that you offered."  
  
*****  
  
After lunch, Meredith rubbed her eyes and yawned. Buffy carried her up the stairs, and lay her on the big bed beside her father. The little girl snuggled beside Spike and went to sleep.  
Buffy was born to protect the world. Sometimes it seemed the world could be contained in one little room. 


	4. Q & A 4

Q & A #4  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Spike sat on the living room floor, surrounded by little coloured blocks. He worked on constructing his castle, while his daughter was content to stick two pieces together and pull them apart again. "Daddy," she asked, "why don't I have a nana?"  
  
"What, pet?"  
  
"Lily's nana bakes her cookies. Is Auntie Willow my nana?"  
  
"Lily. One of the girls at playgroup?" he asked. Meredith nodded. "No, Willow is your Auntie Willow. You don't have a nana. Not here, anyway." He stood and picked a picture frame from the book shelf. "You know who this is, don't you, love?"  
  
"That's Granny Joyce. She looks nice. Do you know her?"  
  
"I knew Joyce. She was a beautiful lady. She treated your daddy right well, when no one else would." He pointed to the photo. "And that little girl is your mommy. Joyce was mommy's mommy. She was your nana."  
  
Meredith laughed. "You're silly, daddy. Mommy's not a little girl."  
  
"Not now, no. But she was. Just like daddy was a little boy. Long, long ago."  
  
The child was overcome by giggles. "You weren't a little boy. That's funny."  
  
Spike picked her up and placed her on his lap. "I was a little boy. I had a father who loved me very much, but we lost him when I was very young. He was your papa. My mother was your nana, too." He brushed the blonde hair from her face with his fingers. "She would have loved you so much. I think she'd finally be proud of me."  
  
"Daddy," Meredith whispered, "Did they die?"  
  
"Long ago, pet. Long ago."  
  
She counted on her fingers. "Your mommy. Your daddy. Grandma Joyce. That's three. Did mommy have a daddy?"  
  
"She has a dad, of sorts, I suppose. She doesn't hear from him much."  
  
"Doesn't he love us?" She looked up at her father. Not for the first time with her, he was at a loss for words.  
  
"Let's play Legos, pet." 


	5. Q & A 5

Q & A #5  
  
"That's pretty."  
  
"Thanks, Meredith. Glad you like it. It's your wallpaper." Xander held the next strip at the top of the wall, matching the design beside it. "Hey, kid, can you hand me that big brush by your foot?"  
  
"Okay." The little girl picked up the smoothing brush and handed it to her Uncle Xander. She watched him ease the air bubbles out of the paper.   
  
"You can sit down again."  
  
"Okay." She sat on the floor and stared at him. "Uncle Xander, is God your kid?"  
  
"What? Huh?" He dropped the brush on the ground. "What?"  
  
"Mommy and Daddy say you're the godfather."  
  
"Oh." He stopped what he was doing and squatted beside Meredith. "No, honey. Not God's father. I'm your godfather. I'm a really good friend of your mommy's and she asked me to be your godfather. Look out for you. Keep an eye on you."  
  
"Daddy's friend too, right?"  
  
He patted her head. "Sure kid. Whatever." He stood up, attending to the next strip of paper.  
  
"How come you don't have a little girl? She could play with me."   
  
"I don't have a wife, so I don't have a little girl. If I had a little girl, or a little boy, I'm sure they'd like playing with you." Having wet the paper in the tray, he held it against the wall.  
  
"Why don't you have a wife? What's a wife?"   
  
"A wife. Someone to love and have a family with." He smoothed the paper with his hand. "I don't have a wife because I blew it. Now Uncle Giles has a wife and I don't." He handled the paper a little too roughly. "Sorry, kid. I'll have to cut another piece." He pulled the ripped paper from the wall and looked down at her. "You know, for a little girl you ask big questions. Your daddy should be getting up soon. Why don't you check on him."  
  
"Okay." She started out her bedroom door, but turned back to him. "What's a wanker Harris?" She laughed and ran out the door.  
  
"I may have to stake her father yet." 


	6. Q & A 6

Q & A #6  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
She guided the buggy through the heavily laden aisles. Her daughter's little legs dangled from the front of the cart; her feet swinging the tiny running shoes. "Can I have some chocolate bars?"  
  
"No, honey. Not good for a little girl."  
  
"Can I have some Sugar Pops?"  
  
"No, sweetie. We're getting Cheerios."  
  
"Can I have some Pop Tarts?"  
  
"No, baby, too much sugar."  
  
Aisle after aisle the questions continued, desires left unmet. Buffy was determined to raise her child to be healthy and strong, despite the temptations of the modern supermarket. Despite how much she wanted these things too.  
  
"Cookies, mommy. I want cookies. Please?"  
  
"Sweetheart, Auntie Willow bakes enough cookies. And they're better than these. So, no."  
  
Finally, weekly ordeal at an end, they headed back towards the checkout lane.  
  
"But mommy," Meredith exclaimed in a too loud voice, "We didn't get any blood for daddy!"  
  
"Not here, honey. The special butcher shop. You remember."  
  
"But I want to get daddy blood now!"  
  
The grocery clerk turned his head and stared. 'Oh, great,' Buffy thought. She tried to improvise. "Blood sausage. She wants to get her daddy some blood sausage. He's, um, British. You know how they love that stuff." She looked down at her daughter. "But they don't have that here."  
  
The clerk was delighted to help. "Sure we do. In the deli meat section. I'll take you over and show you."  
  
"Oh, great," she replied without enthusiam. "Thanks."  
  
Groceries paid for, including the unwanted sausage, Buffy looked down at her daughter. "That thing is disgusting. Your father better eat it. Next week, daddy can do the shopping." 


	7. Q & A 7

Q & A #7  
  
Spike picked up the remote control and clicked off the TV. "That's enough for tonight, pet."  
  
"Why?" Meredith protested from her comfortable position, stretched out between her father and the back of the couch. "I like that show. Can't we watch more TV?"  
  
"Too violent." He shifted and drew his arms around her. "Nothing fit on for a little princess like yourself."  
  
"What's violet?"  
  
"Violent. People hurtin' each other. Killin' each other. Terrible things you don't want ta see."  
  
"Like when the man shot the lady and there was blood?" She snuggled against him.  
  
"That's right, love. Nasty things." He stood up, picked her off the couch and flung her over his shoulder. "Time for bed."  
  
"No bed. I want to play with you." She struggled, but he held her fast. "You drink blood, daddy? Is it nasty?"  
  
"Only pig's blood. And it's nasty for little girls. Now up the stairs you go."  
  
"Daddy, what's a Slayer?"   
  
He stopped his ascent. "What, pet? Where did you hear that?"  
  
"I heard you call mommy 'Slayer'. I thought her name was Buffy."   
  
"It's just a nickname, love." He hugged her close. "You needn't worry about it. We'll explain when you're older."  
  
"Okay." They started back up the staircase. "Mommy can be Slayer, and I can be Princess."  
  
"Right, Princess. I think you got the better end of the deal." 


	8. Q & A 8

Q & A 8  
  
"Auntie Dawn, does mommy have a job?" She stood next to the computer, where her aunt was struggling with copious notes and a deadlined assignment.  
  
"Yes, honey. Mommy has a job. She goes out every night. You know that." She rifled through her note cards.  
  
"Does daddy have a job?"  
  
"Daddy helps mommy. That's why they go out together. They work for some people in England, who finally pay your mommy, now that daddy and Uncle Giles had a nice talk with them."   
  
"What does mommy do?"  
  
She put down the notes. "I told you before, Meredith. Mommy is sort of like a police man. She helps people."  
  
"Oh, yeah." She tried to climb onto her aunt's lap.  
  
"Honey, I know I'm supposed to be watching you, but I have a big assignment due tomorrow. Want me to put on your Elmo tape?"  
  
"No. I want to be with you." She put her arms around an exasperated Dawn's neck. "Will you be with us always and forever?"  
  
"Aw, sweetie." She hugged her little niece. "I can't do that. I'm living here 'til I finish school. But then I have to go out and find my way in the big world."  
  
Meredith started to cry. "But who will look after me when mommy's working? I want you to stay."  
  
"Shhhh, sweetie. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere yet. And you have other people who watch you now, don't you? You have your babysitters, and sometimes Auntie Willow."  
  
Meredith perked up at the name. "I like Auntie Willow. She's funny. She makes pretty lights for me." She hopped down onto the floor. "Oops. She said not to tell."  
  
"Lights? What do you mean by lights? Meredith?"  
  
But the little girl pursed her lips tight and shook her head.  
  
"Sweetie, grownups shouldn't tell you not to tell. You can always tell your mommy or daddy anything."   
  
The child was confused. "But daddy said not to tell mommy he said 'bloody hell'."  
  
Dawn stroked Meredith's hair. "I think as long as you don't say 'bloody hell', mommy won't mind. But tell me more about Auntie Willow's lights."  
  
"I want to watch Elmo now. You work."  
  
"Okay, sweetie. I'll put on Elmo." She hit 'save' and walked away from the computer. 'Lights'? What did she mean by 'lights'? 


	9. Q & A 9

Q & A #9  
  
"That's great news. Next week? What about ..."  
  
Meredith tugged on her father's shirt. "Who is it?"  
  
"Hold on a sec." He covered the phone mouthpiece. "It's Uncle Giles, pet. All the way from England. Now let me talk." He tried to restart the conversation. "So when do you get in?"  
  
"Daddy," she said loudly. "What's England?"  
  
"Hold on, Rupe." He was firmer this time. "It's where Uncle Giles lives. Now please, pet. Go play with your toys. Daddy wants to talk."  
  
"Okay." She wandered off.  
  
"Sorry about that. Meredith's a tad tired. Should be puttin' her down soon. So, is Anya coming?" Suddenly there was a blast from the stereo.   
  
"I wanna be sedated ...."  
  
"Honey, turn that down." The music cranked up louder. "Meredith, stop it." No response. "Sorry, Rupe, could you hold on?" he shouted into the mouthpiece. He ran over to the stereo and shut off the CD. "Meredith, what's got into you? Come here." He pulled her back to the phone, holding tightly to her arm. "Sorry. I can't talk. Can you email the details to Dawn? Thanks."  
  
"Daddy, I want to talk to Uncle Giles."  
  
"Sure, luv." She was beaming up at him. "Rupe, Meredith wants to say something." He held the receiver to her ear. She continued to smile. "Meredith, say goodnight to Uncle Giles." She giggled, but she didn't talk. "Bloody hell. Sorry. She's still acting up. I'll tell Buffy you're coming. Right. She's usually not like this. She's just tired." She was pulling on his shirt tail again. "Night."  
  
He picked his daughter up. "That was very rude, Meredith. You shouldn't interrupt when grownups are trying to talk."  
  
"Play with me?" She rubbed her eyes with her fists.  
  
"No. Bed time." He carried her up the stairs. "And no stories tonight for the naughty girl."  
  
"I'm not a naughty girl," she mumbled. "You don't love me."  
  
"You know full well daddy loves you. Daddy's disappointed in you. But daddy loves you. Maybe one story. Just a short one. Tiny, really."  
  
She snuggled against him as he took her to her room. "Okay." 


	10. Q & A 10

Q & A 10  
  
"Why is it so loud, daddy?" Meredith covered her ears and shouted as she stared at the big jet taxiing down the runway.  
  
"Because it has such big engines. It has to be strong enough to carry all the people into the sky."   
  
"It's so big. Why is it so big? I see them sometimes, and they're really little."  
  
Spike picked his daughter up as they looked out the airport window. "That's because they're so far away when they're up in the sky. They only look tiny. They're really this big."  
  
"The lights are pretty. I like lights."  
  
"That's so they can land the planes in the dark, like tonight."  
  
"Oh." She looked around the airport. "Where's mommy?"  
  
"Mommy went to the washroom. Remember? You said you didn't have to go." He cocked his head to the side. "Do you?"  
  
"Nope. Not now. Where's Uncle Rupert and Auntie Anya? Are they here yet?"  
  
"Not yet." He walked into the terminal and pointed up to the electronic sign. "See? That says that their plane has been delayed. They'll be another fifteen minutes at least, and they have yet to come through customs."  
  
"What's customs?"  
  
"That's where they check your suitcases and passports and such when you come from another country. Uncle Rupert and Auntie Anya are coming from far across the sea." He pointed to the board. "See, there's flights from the Netherlands, and Canada, and Brazil coming in. At least, that's where they come from originally."  
  
"And England. They come from England." She hugged him. "Are you from England? Can we go?"  
  
"You know daddy's from England. And I'd love to take you, you and your mom. Maybe someday, if we can cough a few extra bob from the council of wankers." He put her on the ground. "There's a spot on the bench. Let's sit down and wait." He took her hand and led her to a seat, where they both waited for Buffy. "Uncle Rupert and Auntie Anya have a surprise for you."  
  
Her eyes lit up. "Is it a pony?"  
  
"No, it's not a pony. Something even better." He saw her coming across the floor. "Look, here's mommy back."  
  
"Yay!" She ran to her, reaching up her arms. "Mommy, can you take me to the bathroom?" 


	11. Q & A 11

Q & A #11  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
He was sitting in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea, nibbling on Digestive biscuits and scanning Spike's copy of "Demons of East Africa", when he felt a little pat on his knee. He looked down into a sad little face. "Hello, Meredith. What's wrong?"  
  
"Daddy's sleeping, and Mommy went out and Auntie Dawn's at school and Auntie Anya's busy. Can you help me, Uncle Giles?"  
  
"I'll try, dear. What do you want?" He lay his hand on the top of her head.  
  
"I'm thirsty."  
  
"I do think I can help you with that." He lay his cookie on the table beside the book and stood up. Reaching into the cupboard, he took down a glass.  
  
"No, not that one. I want my sippy cup."  
  
"Sippy cup?"  
  
She pointed to the top of the counter. "I think Mommy put it there."  
  
He picked up the small plastic cup with the white cover. "Aren't you a little old for this?"  
  
"No, I'm not old. I want my sippy cup." She put on a smile more plastic than the cup. "Please?"  
  
"Alright. The sippy cup it is, then." He opened the refrigerator door. "What would you like? Orange juice? Water?"  
  
"I want some blood."  
  
He froze, startled. "You want some blood."  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
"Mommy and Daddy give you blood to drink."  
  
"It was Auntie Dawn's idea, but Daddy says it's okay. Please?" she asked a bit louder.  
  
"I'm going to have a long talk with your father." He reached towards the blood at the back of the fridge, picking it up.   
  
He almost dropped it when she shrieked, "Noooo. That's Daddy's blood. I want my blood."  
  
"I'm afraid I don't understand, Meredith. What exactly is it you want?"  
  
"I want my blood." She pointed to a pitcher at the front of the top shelf. "See? My blood."  
  
He pulled the pitcher out of the fridge, sniffed it to assure himself that it was only cherry Koolaid, poured it into the cup and closed the lid. He handed it to her and she drank it happily. Wiping red drips from her chin, she said, "Thank you, Uncle Giles."  
  
"You're quite welcome, dear." He sat back down and picked up the book, as she ran back into the living room. "My children," he said to no one in particular, "will be satisfied with milk." 


	12. Q & A 12

Q & A #12  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
The door was open a crack, so Meredith pushed it wider. "Hi, Auntie Anya," she said to the woman sitting on the bed.  
  
"Hi Meredith."  
  
"Can I play with Nigel?" She walked towards her parents' friend, trying to get a closer look at the baby.  
  
"Not right now. He's eating."   
  
Meredith looked at Anya's hands holding the infant. "Where's his bottle?"  
  
"He doesn't use a bottle."  
  
"Thank you Meredith, but he doesn't have a sippy cup." She held up her hand and presented the object in question. "Does he want to borrow mine?"  
  
"He's too little for that. He gets his milk from me. From my body." Anya pushed her little finger into the corner of the baby's mouth, to break the suction, and sat him in her lap, her hand holding him under his chin. With her other hand, she rubbed his little back.  
  
Meredith's eyes widened as she saw little drops of white liquid seep from Anya's exposed breast. "Are you a cow?"  
  
"I most certainly am not. I may have been a vengeance demon, twice, but I was never a cow." Nigel gave a satisfying burp, and Anya wiped his mouth with the corner of his receiving blanket. "Hasn't your mother told you how babies are fed? Or don't you watch it on television?"  
  
Meredith blinked. "I just know bottles."  
  
"Well then, pretend I have bottles." She lay the baby on the bed beside her, as she adjusted herself and prepared to nurse on the other side. "Two very adequate bottles."  
  
"Can he talk?"  
  
"No, he can't." She picked him up and held him to her breast as he latched on. "He's a baby. Baby's don't talk."  
  
"He talks to me. He says he loves you."  
  
Anya smiled, her 'I'd pat you on the head patronizingly but my hands are full' smile. "That's very sweet, Meredith. You tell him I love him too."  
"Okay." Meredith stared at the baby. "He says he's glad." She headed for the door, but stopped and turned around. "And change his diaper." She disappeared into the hallway.  
  
Anya shook her head. "Kids." 


	13. Q & A 13

Q & A #13  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
"Babies are stupid." Meredith gave her rag doll a good shake, then dropped it on the ground.  
  
"Poor pet. Not having much fun with Nigel?" Spike picked up the doll and handed it back to his daughter. "No need to take it out on Miss Nancy."  
  
"He just lies there, and cries sometimes. He's stupid. I don't think he's better than a pony. He doesn't talk much."  
  
"He's only a baby. He barely says 'goo'. Wait. I want to show you something, love." Spike pulled an album off the living room bookshelf. "Look at this picture. Do you know who that is?"  
  
She glanced at the photograph. "Stupid baby."  
  
"Actually, pet, that's you. Baby Meredith."  
  
The little girl looked more closely at the image. "That's not me. I'm big."  
  
"You weren't then. You were just a little bit that only wanted to eat, sleep, cry and get her nappies changed." He put the album on the coffee table. "I'll show you something else."  
He picked up his daughter and held her in front of the mirror.  
  
Meredith laughed. "I like it when you make me fly."  
  
"Yes, sweetheart, I know it's funny that you can't see daddy. But look at you. Look how big you are. In a few years, Nigel will be big too."  
  
Meredith smiled. "Then can he play with me?"  
  
"Right." He put her down. "Next time he visits, he'll be running around and playing. In the meantime, he's a little baby, and very good for cuddling. I'm sure if you asked Auntie Anya, she'd let you hold him if you sit on the couch very quietly and she helps you."  
  
"Okay." She started to run off.  
  
"Pet?" She stopped and turned back to him. "I suggest you not call him stupid in front of Auntie Anya and Uncle Giles. Doubt they'd take too kindly to it."  
  
"Okay. I'll call him nice baby."  
  
Spike smiled. "That's my girl."  
  
"But he's still stupid." 


	14. Q & A 14

Q & A #14  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Meredith came bouncing into the living room, stopping when she saw her mother. "Oh," she said. "It's the stu ... it's the nice baby."  
  
"Hey, Sweetie," Buffy called. "Want to play with Nigel?"  
  
She looked at her mother, and the little bundle she held on her lap. "That's Auntie Anya's baby. She should play with it. 'Sides, he doesn't play."  
  
"Sure he does. Come and sit beside me." She watched her daughter climb up onto the couch, a look of studious concentration on her face.  
  
"Show me."   
  
"Take your forefinger, no the pointer one, that's right, and move it back and forth in front of his eyes. See how he watches it?"  
  
Meredith moved her finger slowly and was delighted by the baby's attention to it. "He sees me. I think he likes it."  
  
"Now, take that same finger and touch the baby's little hand."   
  
When she reached out to the infant, he grasped her finger. "He's really strong!"  
  
"Yep. Babies can surprise you. You did."  
  
Meredith was fascinated. "I did?"  
  
"Every day." She shifted a bit on the couch. "Honey, sit there against the corner of the sofa. Like that, right. Now, put your arms out, and Mommy will let you hold Nigel, if you're very careful."  
  
"No." Meredith was frightened. "Anya will be mad at me. I'm just a little kid."  
  
"Auntie Anya and Uncle Giles went to a movie. But they won't be mad. I'm here, and I know you wouldn't hurt him." She placed the infant on her daughter's lap, keeping her hands close. "There, see. Hold your arm under his head, that's good, and there. See, he's fine."  
  
Meredith stared at the baby, not moving an inch. "He loves me."   
  
"I'm sure he does."  
  
"Mommy, he's really soft, and warm. I like him."  
  
"Of course you do, honey. He's a sweet little thing."  
  
"Yes, he's a sweet little thing." She smiled down at the baby. "Mommy, can I have a little brother?" 


	15. Q & A 15

Q & A #15  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Meredith heard noises in her room and peeked around the door. "Hi, Uncle Giles. Whatcha doing?"  
  
The baby lay on top of Meredith's dresser. "Changing Nigel. Would you like to help?"  
  
"Okay." She stood on tip toes to watch the procedure. "Ooh," she exclaimed. "He's stinky."  
  
"I would have to agree with you there." He lay one hand on the baby's tummy, then reached for the bag on the bed. "Meredith, I seem to have miscalculated. Could you please take the plastic container from the diaper bag and hand it to me? No, not that one. No, the other one."  
  
"There's lots of stuff in here." She pulled out the package of baby wipes.  
  
"That's the one. Could you hand it to me, please?" He reached out and took it.  
  
She looked quizzically at the child. "What's that?" she pointed.  
  
"That, ah ..." It was a frustrating position to be in when one had an overwhelming desire to clean one's glasses. "That means Nigel is a boy."  
  
"Okay." At that moment the baby chose to do his impression of the fountain of youth, and Giles groped for the clean diaper on the dresser top, in an attempt to catch the flow. Meredith was overcome with giggles.  
  
"Sweet child, if you're through laughing, could you get another nappy for me from the bag?"  
  
"Okay." She handed him the diaper, grinning. "Boys are funny."  
  
Giles finished cleaning, powdering and diapering the baby, laid him carefully in the middle of the bed, and proceeded to clean himself off with a baby wipe.  
  
"He peed on you."  
  
"Yes, Meredith. I'm rather aware of that."  
  
The little girl was overcome by a fresh wave of giggles.  
  
"I'm glad you're amused." He sat beside the baby, rubbing his tummy gently. "You know, Meredith, you really are your mother's daughter." He smiled down at his son, then looked back at the still laughing child. "And your father's." 


	16. Q & A 16

Q & A #16  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
She was curled up in the corner of the living room couch, sulking, when he came in from the kitchen. "What's wrong, pet?"  
  
Her lower lip trembled. "When is Nigel coming back?"  
  
He sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry you miss the baby. But Uncle Giles and Auntie Anya had to take him home to England. You know they couldn't stay."  
  
"But I want him." Her little eyes were misting with tears. "Can we go see him?"  
  
"I wish we could, love. I really do. But England is far, far away, and Mommy and Daddy have work to do here." He stroked her soft blonde hair. "Maybe someday."  
  
"But he'll be big. He won't be him."  
  
"He'll look different, yes. Babies grow up very quickly." He held her against his chest. "But next time you see him, he'll be able to run and play with you. You'll have so much fun."  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"Yes, pet."  
  
"He's not a stupid baby."  
  
"I know." The timer dinged in the kitchen, and Spike took his daughter from his lap and set her on the couch. "I have to go, sweetheart. I'm making chocolate brownies for Mommy to have when she gets home. You know how hungry she gets when... when she'd been working. Don't want them to burn." He placed his hand on the top of her head. "I'll cut you a nice big piece."  
  
"Okay," she sniffed. She watched him head back towards the kitchen.  
  
She looked on the couch for her Nancy, but it was lying on the floor near the bookcase. She was too sad to get up. Sure that no one was looking, she watched the doll rise from the floor, float across the room, and into her arms. She hugged it close. 


	17. Q & A 17

Q & A #17  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Meredith knelt by the side of the bed, hands folded, her father sitting on the edge. Buffy leaned against the doorframe, watching them.  
  
"Alright, pet," he said. "Now I lay me down to..."  
  
"Sleep."  
  
"I pray the lord my soul to..."  
  
"Keep."  
  
"Guide me through the coming..."  
  
"Night."  
  
"Be with me at morning..."  
  
"Light. Bless Mommy, and Daddy, and Auntie Dawn, and Uncle Giles and Auntie Anya and Nigel and Uncle Xander." She hopped up onto the bed and climbed under the covers.  
  
"What about Auntie Willow, love? Did you forget her?" her father asked, raising his eyebrow.  
  
The little girl closed her eyes. "And Auntie Willow." She opened them again, looking up into her parents' faces. "Night Daddy. Night Mommy." She reached around on her bed. "Where's Nancy?"  
  
Buffy picked her up from the dresser and handed her to her daughter. "Here you go, sweetie."  
  
"Thank you, Mommy." She hugged the doll to her chest. "I can't sleep without her."  
  
"I know that, pet." Spike kissed his daughter on the forehead. "Goodnight, sweet Meredith. Night, Miss Nancy."  
  
Buffy kissed her too, then arm in arm they walked out the door, shutting off the light.  
  
Meredith snuggled under her comforter. "Hi, Auntie Willow," she whispered.  
  
"Hello Meredith," the voice answered in her head. "Did you have a good day?"  
  
"Yes. Will you tell me a story?"  
  
"Of course, honey. Once there were three bears who lived in the forest..." 


	18. Q & A 18

Q & A #18  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
"Mommy said we could have a freezie."  
  
"Cool." The little boy looked around the kitchen. "Where's your dishwasher?"  
  
"What's that?" Meredith pulled the fridge door open.  
  
"The thing that washes your dishes, stupid."  
  
"You mean Daddy?" Meredith pulled a chair over to the open refrigerator, climbed on top and pulled open the freezer door. She reached in and took two frozen treats from the compartment, handing one to her friend.   
  
"That's not a freezie. That's a popsicle. Dumb girl."  
  
Meredith snatched it from his hand. "Take that back."  
  
The child contemplated the popsicle. "Okay. You're just a girl. Not dumb."  
  
She handed it back. "Okay."  
  
He sucked on his treat, and walked over a door. "Where's that go?"  
  
Meredith climbed off the chair, and closed the fridge. "That goes downstairs. I'm not supposed to go without a grownup."  
  
"Wuss." The boy pulled on the handle, opened the door and started down the stairs. "Fraidy cat coming?"  
  
"Okay," she pouted, under duress. She followed him into the basement.  
  
"Hey," he asked, "what's this?"  
  
"That's Mommy's weights."   
  
"Right. You mean your Dad's weights." He reached down and tugged on the bar. "Your Mom couldn't lift this."  
  
"She can too. My Mommy's strong."  
  
"And you're nuts." He looked at the flat weights on the bar. "Hey, that's even more than my dad's. Your dad can't lift that. No way your mom could."  
  
"My Mommy can to lift that. And my Mommy can beat up your Daddy."  
  
"You take that back, stupid girl."  
  
"Will not."  
  
The boy dropped his popsicle on the floor and pulled back his fist.  
  
"Jackson!" He stopped at Buffy's voice. "I think you should leave. Now."  
  
"Mommy," Meredith snivelled, "he says you can't lift up your weight."  
  
"Really?" She knelt down and looked at her daughter. "What have I told you about coming down here?"  
  
The little girl hung her head. "You said don't."  
  
"I said don't. I want you to go up to your room and wait for me."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mommy." Eyes filled with guilty tears, the child walked up the stairs.  
  
"And time for you to go, Jackson. Don't come back." Buffy walked over to the weight. "Let me get this out of your way." She picked the heavy bar easily in one hand and set it to the side. Jackson's jaw hung open. "It's wrong to pick on people, especially when you know you're stronger than they are. It took me a long time to learn that."  
  
The boy stared at her, then ran up the stairs. She heard the back door slam. Regretfully, she trudged up after him, hating the thought of disciplining her daughter. 'She would pick Spike's naptime.' 


	19. Q & A 19

Q & A #19  
  
"Watcha doin'?" Meredith tried to climb onto her aunt's lap. "School stuff?"  
  
"Nope." The little girl was pushing her away from the keyboard. "Hey. Stop that. I'm talking to somebody."  
  
Meredith stepped away and looked up at Dawn. "I don't hear anybody talking."  
  
"Not with our mouths, silly. On the internet. We're typing to each other."  
  
"Show me."  
  
"See, I type in here: 'Hey, Eric. My little niece is being a pain. So, what were you saying about your mom?' and he talks back. Types back."  
  
"I want to try."  
  
"You can't type. You can't even spell." When the little girl pouted, Dawn sat her in her lap. "Watch me."  
  
'Sorry, Eric. She won't leave. Babysitting sucks.'  
  
"Please?" Meredith begged.  
  
"Okay. I'm going to say hi from you. Then will you quit bugging me?" The child nodded, and Dawn typed, 'Meredith says hi.'.  
  
The words came back, 'Hi Meredith.'  
  
The little girl squealed with glee. "That's me! I'm Meredith!"  
  
"Yep, you sure are. Now go play with your toys."  
  
She climbed down off her aunt's lap and sat down in the corner of the living room, surrounded by little plastic farm animals.  
  
'Bye, yourself,' the screen read.  
  
Dawn typed, 'Why? Are you leaving?'  
  
'No,' he answered, 'you said goodbye. Scroll up.'  
  
'Weird. I didn't type that.'  
  
'Guess your keyboard's haunted then. Anyway, Mom comes into my room without knocking, and ...'  
  
Meredith smiled. 


	20. Q & A 20

Q & A #20  
  
Spike took her foot in his hand. "You have the most beautiful toes."   
  
"I have the most sore toes. Rub my foot? Pretty please?" Buffy smiled as he knelt at the end of the bed, working out the knots with his strong and nimble fingers. "Oh, that feels so good."  
  
"You think that's good, pet," he kissed the arch gently, "wait until I work my way up a little higher."  
  
Her eyes opened as he sucked on her ankle. "I thought we'd never get the baby to sleep. This time alone is so ..."  
  
"Mommy." Meredith stood in the bedroom doorway, rubbing her eyes. "I can't sleep. There's monsters under my bed."  
  
"Oh, poor baby. Come to daddy." Spike held out his arms and his daughter jumped onto the bed and into them. "Is my girl frightened of a few monsters?" She cuddled close to his chest, her thumb firmly planted in her mouth, and nodded.   
  
"Meredith, honey," Buffy explained, "there are no ..." She pulled herself up, reluctantly, pulling her robe over her nightgown. "I'd better go check."  
  
"Right. Shout out if you need me." Spike watched his wife head out the door. "Was it a very big monster, love?"  
  
She nodded her head again. Removing her thumb, she added, "He was going to eat me."  
  
"Was he now?" Spike cradled her tightly. "My baby is very sweet, but no monster will ever harm her. Her mommy and daddy look over her and protect her, so she need never be afraid."  
  
Buffy trudged back into the room. "No monsters. Nothing I could find, anyway. You can go back to bed, honey."  
  
Meredith's face crumpled with fear. "I'm afraid. I don't want to sleep in there. I want to sleep here."  
  
Buffy and Spike shared a look of resignation. "I'll see you later," Spike said, taking his favourite pillow and heading towards his daughter's room.  
  
"I love you, Mommy." Meredith cuddled against her frustrated mother, as they both fell back to sleep. 


	21. Q & A 21

Q & A #21  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
The ridge overlooking Sunnydale was dotted with blankets and lawn chairs. Buffy, Spike and Meredith were surrounded by a lake of people. Families sat together, young couples reclined, holding hands. The air was thick with anticipation.  
  
Meredith was bouncing up and down on her blanket. "Is it going to start now? How about now?"  
  
"Any second now, sweetheart." Spike reached out and took Buffy's fingers, smiling up at her. Their daughter sitting between them on the blanket, it was a perfect evening. They had managed to find a decent spot to set up, even though they came later than most families, the sun's rays already dipping low in the sky. On the verge of pitch darkness, the show was about to begin.  
  
"Look, there's Dawn." Buffy waved towards her sister and Dawn's date, but the couple didn't turn around. She knew there were people here she would recognize, but the darkness precluded it.   
  
"I'm glad you don't have to work, Mommy." Meredith put her arms around her mother's neck.  
  
"I wouldn't miss this. I'll go out later for a bit, but right now, my time is yours. Yours and Daddy's." Spike gave her hand a squeeze.  
  
Spike's ears perked up. "I think it's starting."  
  
With a whistle, the rocket streaked into the sky. It burst forth with a tremendous boom. Meredith shrieked and covered her ears. "It's too loud. I don't like it. I want to go home."  
  
"Look, pet." Spike pointed to the sky as the colours lit the darkness in a cascade.   
  
"Pretty," Meredith uttered, her ears firmly covered. "But it smells bad."  
  
With the next blast, louder than the first, Meredith buried her head against her father's chest. "Make it stop!" she cried.  
  
"Shhh, love. It's okay. Look." Again the little girl peeked up at the sky.   
  
"Oh, that's so nice, Daddy. Why can't it be pretty and quiet?"  
  
"It has to explode to make the pretty lights. That's how it works. You need the bad part to get to the good part."  
  
Buffy smiled at him. "Yep, honey. Sometimes you do." She put her arms around her daughter. "Cover your ears, but keep looking up. You've only been seeing the ends of the lights."  
  
Meredith stoically covered her ears and looked up. This time she saw the firework burst in its entirety. "Oh, that's so beautiful." She crawled into her father's lap. "Is Auntie Willow here?"  
  
"Probably somewhere. Why, sweetheart?"  
  
"Cause I think she'd like this." She snuggled next to her father, until, even with the noise, she'd fallen asleep. 


	22. Q & A 22

Q & A #22  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Meredith was working intently on the coffee table, her paper spread out before her and a plethora of brightly coloured crayons in disarray around it. Buffy stood over her, surveying her work. "That's really good, sweetheart." She pointed to the paper. "That's a very good tree."  
  
The little face screwed up in disgust with her mother's ignorance. "That's not a tree, silly. That's you."  
  
"Oh." Buffy looked closer. "Of course it is."  
  
"That's your green shirt and your brown pants."  
  
Buffy squatted down beside the table, deciding it would be safer to let her daughter describe her own work. "And what's that part?"  
  
The little girl forced exasperated air through her lips. "That's daddy."  
  
"Oh, right. I should have known by all the black." She pointed to the centre of the drawing. "That's you, isn't it? Your favourite blue dress."  
  
Meredith beamed. "You got it right. That's good, mommy." She put down her crayon had threw her arms around her mother's neck. "You get a kiss." She pressed her lips against Buffy's cheek.  
  
"Thank you." She watched the little girl go back to the paper. "And what's that part?"  
  
"That's our doggie."  
  
"Honey, we don't have a doggie."  
  
"I want one." She drew something in her mother's arms. "And that's my baby brother."  
  
"Oh, Meredith." She placed her hand on her daughter's head, stoking her hair. "Don't count on that."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because it probably will never happen. My Meredith is a special little girl. One of a kind."  
  
"I want a baby brother. It could maybe be."  
  
"Okay." She sat on the carpet beside her. "Maybe." She looked back at the picture. "Why do you have so much of this colour? Our hair, the dog, the walls."  
Meredith smiled. "I like the yellow crayon." 


	23. Q & A 23

Q & A #23  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Buffy picked up the receiver from the ringing phone. "Oh, hey. How are you?"  
  
Meredith tugged at the edge of her mother's t-shirt. "Mommy, Auntie Dawn put my sippy cup in the cupboard and I can't reach it."  
  
"Wait a sec." Buffy put her hand over the receiver and looked down. "I'll be with you soon, honey. Mommy's talking on the phone." She returned to the caller. "And Sam?"  
  
The child tugged again. "Mommy, who is it?"  
  
"Uncle Riley, honey. Long distance. Let Mommy talk."  
  
"Who's Uncle Riley?" Meredith was growing impatient. So was her mother.  
  
"Mommy's friend." She spoke into the receiver. "Oh, that's great. When will you get in? You have to come for supper."  
  
"But I'm thirsty now."   
  
"Honey, be a good girl. It's naughty to interrupt on the phone." Buffy was exasperated. "I'm sorry, Riley. No, Spike won't mind. Water under the bridge. Are you bringing Erin?"  
  
"Who's Erin?"  
  
She bent down and put her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Honey, wait a minute, and Mommy will tell you. I'll get your drink. Just let me talk." She stood up. "Oh, that's great. Meredith's baby crazy. She'll love that. When are you getting in?"  
  
Meredith gave up and wandered into the kitchen. She looked up at the cup on the high shelf, and watched it float down and into her hand. She stood on a chair and filled the cup in the kitchen sink. Sipping through the lid, walked back into the living room. "I got my cup myself, Mommy," she stated.  
  
"Oh, that's good, sweetie." She continued her conversation. "So, what brings you to Sunnydale? Really? How's the government treating you?"  
  
Meredith sulked as she worked on her drink. 


	24. Q & A 24

Q & A #24  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
"Mommy, oh Mommy!" Meredith took her mother's hand and tried to pull her out the back door.  
  
"What is it honey? What's wrong?" Buffy was concerned. There was genuine fear in her daughter's voice. "What's outside?"  
  
"Come and see. Please, Mommy. Right now."  
  
Buffy hesitated. There were many things to fear in Sunnydale. Even on a sunny summer morning. "Tell Mommy what it is, sweetheart."  
  
"Come now!" She tugged on her mother's hand, and Buffy reluctantly followed her. Meredith led her to a place on the grass beside the house. She pointed down. There were tears in her eyes. "Oh, Mommy, help it. Please."  
  
The little bird lay still in the grass, its neck twisted. "Did you touch it, baby?"  
  
"No Mommy. It might bite me. Help it, please."  
  
"That was a good girl." Buffy picked her gardening gloves off the side of the porch railing, put them on and picked up the bird. It lay cradled in her palm, hardly more than a fledgling. She sighed. "Sweetheart, it's too late. The little birdy's gone."  
  
Meredith was confused. "It's right there."  
  
"Honey, the bird is dead. I can't help it now." She sat it back on the grass. "No one can help it now."  
  
The tears in the little girl's eyes spilled over, as her face puckered in grief. "But I don't want it to be dead. How did it die, Mommy?"  
  
"I'm not sure, sweetie, but I think it hit a window. The birdies think the glass isn't there, and when they hit it, they get hurt, or killed." She pulled off the gloves and wrapped her daughter in her arms. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could make it better." She carried her daughter into the house. "I have an idea. Let's get a shoebox and give the little fellow a proper burial."  
  
"In the ground? Will that make it alive again?"  
  
"No, sweetheart. Nothing can make it alive again. But it will keep the cats from getting at it."  
  
"Okay." She cuddled her mother close. "Mommy, can we wait until tonight? So daddy can help?"  
  
Buffy kissed her daughter's cheek. "I think he'd like that." 'Though,' she thought, 'I think he'd rather protect you from things like this a little longer. I know I would.' 


	25. Q & A 25

Q & A #25  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
"Meredith Summers." The nurse called out the name and Spike stood, taking his daughter's hand.  
  
"No, Daddy," the little girl cried. "I don't want to."  
  
He knelt down, looking into her eyes. "Have to, pet. I'd spare you this if I could, but I can't." He picked her up in his arms and carried her towards the cubicle, while she struggled and cried.  
  
Spike sat his daughter on the examining table. She was still protesting as the nurse left. "Don't make me Daddy. Take me home. Please take me home."  
  
Her cries were breaking his heart, but he stood firm. "You need this sweetheart. So you can go to school with the other little boys and girls. It won't be so bad. Daddy's here."  
  
When the doctor walked into the room, her tears started afresh. The doctor looked dismayed. "I don't know why they always get this way with me. The nurse gives the shots." He looked towards Spike. "Any problems?"  
  
"No, she's been fine."  
  
"I'm not fine." Meredith shouted. "My tummy hurts. I should go home."  
  
"Really?" the doctor asked. "Maybe I should check that out."  
  
"First she's mentioned it." Spike studied his daughter. "Your tummy really hurt, sweetheart?"  
  
She weakened under her father's gaze. "I think so. Sort of." She sniffed back her tears. "No." Her face crumbled up again, preparing for a fresh flood. "But I don't want to get a needle."  
  
"Nobody does." The doctor smiled at Spike. "I'll send in the nurse."  
  
Spike took Meredith from the table and sat her on his lap in his chair. "Is it okay if she sits here?"  
  
"Sure." The doctor left as the nurse entered.  
  
"Okay, Sweetie. This won't hurt a bit." The nurse filled the syringe and pinched the child's skin, pressing the point of the needle into her arm. Meredith screamed.  
  
"Daddy, Daddy, it hurts so much. Make her stop. Make her stop."   
  
Spike clenched his teeth, trying to overcome his natural impulse to attack the nurse. She was just doing her job. Hurting his daughter. Causing her pain. He concentrated on holding his little girl.  
  
As Meredith screamed, "I want Mommy," he felt a tear trickle from the corner of his eye. So much easier when he didn't care about anyone but himself.  
  
He wouldn't trade this for the world. 


	26. Q & A 26

Q & A #26  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
"Whoa. Do you ever look lame." Jackson stood at the edge of the Summer's front yard, commenting on Meredith's appearance.  
  
The little girl smoothed down the ruffles on her skirt. "My daddy says I look pretty."  
  
"What's with the curly hair, and the ribbons? You look like a, like a girl. Just a stupid girl."  
  
Meredith frowned. "Not a stupid girl." She spoke up louder, as she lifted her head with defiance. "And my Mommy told me not to talk to you." She paused, considering the proper epithet. "Stupid boy."  
  
"Yeah, brave girl, standing on your parent's porch. Come over here and say that." His smile was mean. "Chicken."  
  
"I'm supposed to wait here. For Mommy."   
  
"Oh, right. Hide behind your mama." He wiggled his hips, in a parody of what he considered femininity. "Meredith is a mama's girl. Meredith is a mama's girl."  
  
"Am not." Meredith practically flew off the porch as she ran towards the trouble maker. Her patent leather shoes squished through the newly watered grass of the lawn. She grabbed Jackson and pushed him over, as they rolled in the grass and wet soil.   
  
The boy was taken aback by the attack, but only for a moment. He was about to push the little girl's face into the dirt, when he looked up at the porch. Buffy Summers stood there, hands on her hips, face a mask of cold fury. He let go of the child and ran, as fast as he could.  
  
"Meredith Anne Summers. You come here. Now."  
  
The small child pulled herself up from the lawn and slunk back to the front door. "I'm sorry, Mommy."  
  
"You should be." Buffy stared down at her daughter. "You knew I was taking you to Sears for your portrait. You knew I told you not to get messy. Now look at you. I leave you for one minute, and you get into a fight. I told you to stay away from Jackson. You're filthy. Now, come into the house and get cleaned up, and I'll find you another dress." She took the child's grubby little hand. "What was the fight about, anyway?"  
  
"He said I was a mama's girl." Her lip quivered. "I'm sorry. I got mad." Tears filled her eyes. "I'm not a mama's girl, am I Mommy?"  
  
"You're my girl, honey, but no, you're not a mama's girl." She walked her into the house, thinking, 'Definitely a daddy's girl.' 


	27. Q & A 27

Q & A #27  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
It was nearly sundown when Meredith climbed up on her father's bed. "Hi, Daddy," she said. "Wake up."  
  
He rubbed his eyes and stretched. "Hey, sweetie. Where's your mom?"  
  
"Making dinner. Spaghetti. Again." She smiled. "I like spaghetti."  
  
"I know you do. Give Daddy a mo, and I'll be right down." He sat up, running his fingers through his curly brown hair. He reached for the t-shirt he'd dropped on the floor.  
  
"Daddy, do you want me to be happy?"  
  
He paused, the shirt partially over his head. "Now that's a loaded question, pet." He pulled it on. "Happy in what way?"  
  
"If I had a little brother I would be very happy." She looked up at him, with her sweet, artificially innocent smile.   
  
"That again." He stood up, adjusting the waist band on his track pants. "How about a baby sister?"  
  
"Okay." She was surprised how easy it had been.   
  
"No, love. Don't mean you're getting one. I ..." He sat on the edge of the bed. "My dearest darling, we would love to give you a brother or sister. But you're our little miracle, and I don't fancy it's going to happen twice."  
  
She screwed her forehead in concentration, trying to understand. "Why don't you want me to be happy? Don't you like me?"   
  
He swept her into his arms. "Like you? I love you. You're sunshine and roses, and the light of my soul. You're the most precious gift your mom could ever give me. You're my sweet girl."  
  
She nestled her head against his chest. "Then why can't I have a baby brother?"   
  
"You know what, pet?" He stood up and threw her over his shoulder, as she convulsed with giggles. He carried her down the stairs that way. "I thought your mother was stubborn. But you win the prize."  
  
"And for my prize, I want ..."  
  
"A baby brother. I know." He placed her on the floor at the foot of the stairs.  
  
"Okay. Thank you. I was going to say a puppy." She ran in the kitchen. "Mommy, Daddy says I can have a baby brother."  
  
Buffy came out of the kitchen, her hands on her hips, glaring at Spike.  
  
"I didn't," he said, throwing up his hands. "Maybe it's time we thought about that puppy." 


	28. Q & A 28

Q & A #28  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Spike sat the plastic tray on the plastic table top, then sat in his plastic chair. "There you go, sweetheart. Happy meal with nuggets." He placed the paper containers in front of his daughter and her mother. "And for you, my love, salad and a diet coke. Sure you don't want a big mac?"  
  
"I'm sure," Buffy replied. "Aren't you having anything?"   
  
"Here?" Spike pointed to the menu. "And what would you suggest I have? Nothing remotely appealing, far as I can see. You'd think Sunnydale's Micky D's would include a little something red and tastey, but no. Now, in Germany, ask for a meal and you get an ale. My kind of fast food." He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head at Buffy. "No comments from the peanut gallery."  
  
Meredith opened her container, and popped a fry into her mouth. "Why can't we eat at the Doublemeat Palace? Mindy had her birthday party there. They have cow hats."  
  
Buffy paled. "No, not the ..." She shook her head. "I can't even say it. Just eat your nuggets."  
  
Meredith dipped the nugget into her ketshup, and took a bite. "Um. Good. What's in the nugget, Mommy?"  
  
"Chicken. Mostly."  
  
"How does the chicken get in the nugget?" Meredith considered the meat in her hand. "Wait a minute. Chickens are birdies. Am I eating a birdie?"  
  
"Yes, love." Spike stole one of her fries. "Chickens are birdies. You're eating a birdie." Buffy kicked him under the table. "Best not to think about it, really."  
  
Meredith dropped the half eaten nugget on the table. "I can't eat birdies." Horror spread over her face. "Dead birdies?"  
  
Buffy pictured the little funeral the three had held for the dead sparrow Meredith had found in the back yard. She didn't relish the idea of burying her daughter's dinner with the same ceremony. "Some birds are meant to fly. Some are meant to eat. That's just the way it is."  
  
Spike shifted in his chair. A few short years ago, he would have said the same thing about people.  
  
Meredith stuck her nuggets back in the container. "I think I'll just eat my fries now. Okay?"  
  
Spike patted her hand. "Okay." 


	29. Q & A 29

Q & A #29  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Dawn carefully opened the front door to the Revello Drive house, trying not to make a sound. She gently pushed it shut again, and turned towards the hallway, keeping her footsteps light. She almost tripped over her niece.  
  
"Hi, Auntie Dawn," Meredith said brightly.  
  
"Hi, Sweetie," she whispered. "Shh."  
  
"Okay," the little girl whispered back. She pointed at the bulge under her aunt's jacket. "What's that?"  
  
"Come up to my room and I'll show you." She ran up the stairs, the little girl hurrying after.  
  
Dawn closed her bedroom door behind them. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"In the basement. With her weights. Daddy's sleeping. Are we being sneaky, Auntie Dawn?"  
  
"Yeah. I guess we're being sneaky."   
  
"What's in your coat?" To the child's delight, the bulge in the jacket moved. "Oh, you've got a baby."  
  
"Not exactly, silly." Dawn undid her buttons, and a furry, tiny head popped out. "It's a kitten."  
  
"Ooooh, oh, can I see? Can I hold it? Please, Auntie Dawn?" She jumped up on the bed, and Dawn took the grey and black stripped tabby from it's hiding place and sat it in Meredith's lap. The little girl squealed as the kitten used its tiny, sharp claws to climb up her chest. "It's so cute. Is it mine?"  
  
"It's ours. Maybe. If Buffy lets us keep it." She took the kitten from the child and held the squirming, warm little body. "One of my friends at school had a litter, and this is one of them. I couldn't resist him." She looked in his furry face. "I know Buffy thinks we can't handle pets, but maybe if we gang up on her, she'll let us try."  
  
"Daddy will let us keep him."  
  
"Yep, we should work on Spike, too. That's your job. Then he can work on your mom." She sat the kitten on her bed, and the two girls watched it try to walk over the bedspread between them. Dawn rubbed the little cat's head, and it purred.  
  
"What's his name?" the child asked.  
  
"Gee, I don't know. I didn't ask. Why don't you name him? Got something in mind?"  
  
Meredith nodded her head enthusiastically. "Let's call him Puppy." 


	30. Q & A 30

Q & A #30  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
"Daddy," the weak little voice cried. If he wasn't a vampire, he wouldn't have heard it.   
  
He poked his head in her bedroom. "Yes, sweet love?"  
  
"Daddy," she croaked, "could I have more ginger ale?"  
  
"Course, pet." He walked in and lay his hand on her forehead. It was still feverish, but didn't seem as hot as before. He'd take her temperature after he got her the drink. "Feeling any better?"  
  
"No." She looked up at him with big, sad eyes. "I want Mommy."  
  
"I know. But Mommy's in her own bed, poor thing. Nasty flu." He squeezed her hand. "She needs her rest. She'll be in to see you soon."  
  
He left her, then peeked in on Dawn. She was asleep, her breathing laboured, with her head propped on her pillow. Puppy was lying on the bed near her feet, curled in a ball.  
  
Next he checked on Buffy. "Want some ginger ale, love? Getting some for the baby, anyway."  
  
Buffy tried to smile, and nodded. She pointed to her throat.  
  
"I know. Don't try an' talk. I'll be right back." He ran down the stairs, for what must have been the fiftieth time that night. At least he was immune to the virus.   
  
He opened the fridge and took out the pop, pouring some in a glass and the rest in Meredith's sippy cup. He looked at the empty bottle in his hand, and had an overwhelming desire to throw it against the kitchen wall. Since it was plastic, it wouldn't have been too satisfying. He threw it in the recycling bin.  
  
He had been the scourge of Europe. He and Dru had cut a swath through whole cities. His had been a name to contend with. Now he was reduced to playing nursemaid to a housefull of women. A part of him wanted to break a window, or beat someone up. He leaned against the countertop, grasping it tightly, until the feeling passed.  
  
He picked up the drinks and went back upstairs. Buffy took hers, and smiled, bright and wide, this time, only for him. "I love you," she whispered.   
  
He kissed her forehead. "I know, my darling. Now sip that, then get some sleep. Let the ol' Slayer strength kick in."  
  
He took the sippy cup and handed it to Meredith. "Here you go, pet. Anything else you need?"  
  
"Cuddles."  
  
"Done, and done." He lay down on the bed beside her, holding her close. He may be nursemaid to a housefull of women, but they were his women. 


	31. Q & A 31

Q & A #31  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
Willow looked at the unemptied plate with disapproval. "Eat your broccoli."  
  
"I don't like broccolies," Meredith complained.  
  
"Well, your mom said you should eat it, so eat it." The witch looked at the offending vegetable, lying alone and unloved. "At least eat the tree tops."  
  
"Okay." Meredith picked up the broccoli by the stem. "It does look like trees."  
  
"Then eat your trees." She watched with satisfaction as the little girl nibbled on the greens. "So, your mom and dad had to go out pretty sudden. I guess they had to work."  
  
"I don't think so." Meredith considered hiding the rest of the broccoli under her plate, but Auntie Willow was watching too closely, so she tried another distasteful bite. "Mommy told Daddy that Uncle Riley was coming for dinner, and Daddy told Mommy, 'over my dead body' and Mommy got mad, and Daddy got mad, then Mommy started to cry, and Daddy said he was a git, and they went to the Bronze. I think."  
  
"Wow. Little jugs do have big ears."  
  
"I'm not a jug." Meredith picked up the vegetable and put it down again. "Please, I had enough."  
  
"I know you aren't a jug. It's just something my Zaida used to say." She put her hand on the child's. "Don't worry. Your Mommy and Daddy will be all right." She paused in thought. "Did you say Uncle Riley was coming for dinner? When?"  
  
"I think Mommy said next week."   
  
"Meredith, remember what we talked about? About not telling anyone the things you can do?"  
  
"Yep." Meredith pushed her plate away. "I want to tell Mommy and Daddy."  
  
"No, honey. Don't. Let's keep it our secret." The witch picked up the plate and carried it into the kitchen. She walked back out to the dining room, where Meredith had climbed down from her chair. "Can you lift that table?"  
  
"No, silly. Too heavy." Meredith went to the bookshelf and took down a photo from the shelf. "This is you. And Mommy. And Uncle Xander."  
  
"That's right. We were in high school."  
  
Meredith giggled. "You're thinking about kissing Uncle Xander."  
  
Willow waved a hand in front of her own face, as sparks flew. "Obstruct." She hugged the little girl. "Remember. Don't tell Mommy and Daddy. Or anyone." 


	32. Q & A 32

Q & A #32  
by Colleen Hillerup  
  
The Snakes and Ladders board lay on the living room floor. Buffy rolled her dice and moved her playing piece. "Rats."  
  
Meredith laughed. "You go all the way down. That's a big snake, Mommy."  
  
"And Mommy so does not like big snakes. Your turn." She handed her daughter the dice.  
  
"Okay." The child paused in mid-roll. "Oh, I forgot."  
  
"Forgot what, honey?"   
  
"Auntie Dawn." Meredith frowned with concentration. "She ran out this morning. She was late. She said that Mommy should clean Puppy's litter box 'cause she didn't have time." She smiled. "That's it. I remembered."  
  
"I knew giving in on that kitten was a bad idea. 'Oh, no Buffy, I'll take care of it. Don't worry, Buffy, you won't have to do a thing.' Yeah, right." The phone rang, and Buffy pushed herself to her feet.  
  
"Hello? Yes, this is Buffy Summers." She listened to the voice on the other end of the line. "Yes, I've been waiting." Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me, could you repeat that?" Shock blanketed her face. "Thank you. Really. Next week, yes, that's convenient. That will be fine. Let me write that down." She picked up paper and a pen from the phone table and scribbled something. "Thank you." A glow spread out from deep within her. "Thank you so much."  
  
She dropped the phone onto the cradle. "Honey, where's daddy?"  
  
"Mommy, Daddy's asleep. He always sleeps now. You know that." She watched her mother head towards the stairs. "Mommy, what about Puppy? Auntie Dawn says she's getting all stinky. Can I help you change the box?"  
  
Buffy looked towards her daughter, her smile beatific. "No, honey. Dawnie will have to do it. Or maybe Daddy. I can't. You put the game away, and I'll be right back down." She flew up the stairs, calling, "Spike! Oh, god, Spike!"  
  
Meredith bounced up and down, laughing and clapping her hands. "Yay!" 


	33. Q & A 33

Q & A #33  
  
Meredith pushed her parents' door open. "Mommy? I put the game in the box. Are you coming soon, Mommy?"   
  
"Come in, sweetheart." Buffy sat on the bed, Spike's arms wrapped around her. She reached out her hand and pulled her daughter up beside them.   
  
Meredith looked at her father. "Daddy, are you crying?"  
  
"Happy tears, pet." He ran his hand down the side of her face, holding her cheek in his palm. "You are such a beautiful little girl."  
  
"Yes, you told me before," she stated, in a matter of fact tone. "Why are you crying?"  
  
"We'll tell you later," Buffy said, cuddling her daughter. "It's a little soon right now."  
  
"Is this about my brother?" the child asked.  
  
"What makes you ask that?" Spike queried, surprise in his voice.  
  
"I don't know." She looked from parent to parent. "Is it?"  
  
Spike looked at Buffy, unsure what to say. She shrugged. "Meredith, if all goes well, would you be willing to share your room, in, say seven months?" he asked.  
  
"Can I name him?" The little girl was bursting with smiles.  
  
"We don't know it is a he, honey." Buffy kissed her little girl's forehead. "But I think we'll all name it. We have some time."  
  
"Okay." Meredith lay her head on her mother's stomach. "Hi, baby. I'm your sister. I love you."   
  
Both Buffy and Spike were smiling through their tears. "Look now," Spike said. "You've made your mommy cry."  
  
Buffy nudged him. "Like you weren't."  
  
"Just happy, is all. Thinkin' maybe I won't be outnumbered. Even up the odds."  
  
"Fair enough." Buffy said. "Unless you have another daughter. Then we will totally rule you."  
  
"You already do." He laced his fingers through hers. "And you know it."  
  
"Mommy," Meredith asked, "What's a miracle?"  
  
"You are, sweetheart." She kissed her forehead.  
  
Spike smiled. "You both are."  
  
"Okay, my love," Buffy said. "We all are." 


	34. Q & A 34

Q & A #34  
  
The two couples sat in the living room after dinner, Spike holding his daughter in his lap, and Sam hers. They had been quiet throughout the meal, with Buffy and Riley doing the catching up.  
  
"The chicken was delicious, Buffy," Sam said. "You'll have to give me the recipe."  
  
"Oh, I didn't make it," Buffy smiled. "Spike did."  
  
Riley shot him a less than complimentary glance. "It was good. Really."  
  
"Oh, Finn," his wife said, "You're just jealous because you can't boil water." She beamed at Spike. "It was wonderful."  
  
"Thanks."   
  
"So there we were," Riley said, continuing one of his stories, "at the edge of the jungle, hordes of Lectesh demons breathing down our throats ..."  
  
"Riley," Buffy stopped him. "Not in front of the kids."  
  
"Right." The commando tried to think of something more appropriate. "Sam's doing a bang up job in admin. Everyone's very impressed with her."  
  
"Thanks, honey," Sam said, not without regret. "It's not the same as the jungle, but since I've been a mom, the office seems like a safer place."  
  
"Erin's a beautiful little girl." Buffy responded. "You were very lucky. I've heard adoption can take a long time."  
  
"Very lucky," Riley replied.   
  
"I helped made cookies." Meredith wiggled out of her father's lap. "Now, Daddy?"  
  
"Sure, pet." Spike stood up and went into the kitchen, clenching and unclenching his fist. Soon he'd have his family to himself again.  
  
Meredith walked over to the couch and jumped up beside Sam. "I like babies."  
  
"I know." Sam smiled down at the little girl. "Your mom told me."  
  
"My Mommy's having a baby. I want a brother."  
  
"Really?" Riley asked, lifting a scarred eyebrow.  
  
A look of panic passed over Buffy's face. "We weren't going to tell anyone yet. It's a bit early."  
  
"That's great news." Sam held her daughter a little closer. "Another miracle, I guess, isn't it?"  
  
"They're all miracles." Buffy felt awkward. She was the one who wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant, and here were Sam and Riley, the all-American family, who couldn't have one of their own. They seemed happy, though.  
  
Meredith was looking down on Erin, when the thought pierced her mind. 'I'm scared.'  
  
She kissed the baby's forehead. 'I know.' 


	35. Q & A 35

Q & A #35  
  
"I want to go on the roller coaster. Can I? Please?" Meredith looked up with pleading eyes.  
  
Xander clasped his little friend's hand tightly. "I don't think so, Tim. Mommy wouldn't be too happy with me if you came home all loopty looped." He pointed to the carousel. "How about that?"  
  
She tugged at his hand. "Horsies." She pulled him to the entrance. Fortunately, the lineups for the more sedate rides weren't as long.   
  
He picked her up in his arms as they waited. "Having fun, kid?"  
  
"Yes." She put her arms around his neck. "Thank you, Uncle Xander."  
  
"Any time, kid." He pulled the strip of tickets out of his pocket and handed her one. "Guess your mom wasn't up for the rides today."  
  
"Mommy says they would make her throw up." She laughed. "Silly Mommy. She throws up anyway."  
  
"I know, kid. Par for the course." For a short line, it didn't seem to be moving. "Guess your dad would have liked to take you."  
  
"Daddy doesn't like the daytime." She smiled as the ride started moving, the sound of the calliope singing across the park. "We can go on soon, right?"  
  
"Right."   
  
"Daddy says the nighttime is not for little girls. He says things go bump at night." Her expression was puzzled. "What's 'go bump'? Like the bumper cars?"  
  
"Not exactly. But your Daddy's right. This isn't a little girl place at night, not in Sunnydale." The carousel stopped and the children ran off. The line moved into the enclosure, and they gave their tickets to the attendant. Xander placed Meredith on the white pony with gold traces, making sure that it was one that would go up and down. He stood beside her, holding her as the ride started.   
  
She squealed with delight as the painted horse rose and fell. She held tight to the bar and leaned back, his arms ready to catch her if need be. She felt like she was flying.   
  
Xander watched the child, delight beaming on her face. For a second he pretended that she was his. That he had a wife at home waiting for them. But too soon the music stopped and the horse eased down again.  
  
He picked Meredith off the saddle and walked her out the exit. "That was so fun, Uncle Xander."  
  
He looked down at her smiling face. "Yeah, it was." They walked together into the park, and he pointed to a concession booth. "Hey, kid. Want some cotton candy?"  
  
"Ooh, yes please." She ran ahead of him, watching the girl behind the counter spin the sugar around the cone. Xander paid her, and handed Meredith the confection, pulling off a chunk for himself. Impossibly sweet, it melted in their mouths. "It tastes like a cloud," the little girl exclaimed.  
  
"Guess it does." The walked towards the game booths. "Come on, I'll win you a teddy bear." More dollars than he cared to admit later, he had. He then faced the task of juggling the large toy and the tired little girl.  
  
"Uncle Xander," she said quietly, drifting off. "I know a secret."  
  
"Gonna tell? Cause secrets, hard to keep."  
  
"Auntie Willow loves you."  
  
He smiled. "Not much of a secret, kid. I love Auntie Willow. Love you too."  
  
"No," she said, snuggling in his arms, her head on the bear, sticky cheeks adhering to the fur, "Auntie Willow 'loves' you."  
  
"What do ...?" But she couldn't explain. She was asleep. 


	36. Q & A 36

Q & A #36  
  
"You look really pretty, Auntie Dawn."   
  
Dawn smiled at her niece. "Thanks, sweetie."  
  
"You'll be the prettiest one."  
  
"I really think," she said, picking her jacket off the back of the chair, "that's supposed to be the bride. But I appreciate the sentiment."  
  
"What's a bride?" Meredith lay on her stomach, resting on her elbows, her chin in her hands. Her colouring book and crayons were spread out in front of her.  
  
"The bride is the lady getting married. In this particular instance, my friend Lori. She wears a white dress and carries flowers, and she marries the groom, which would be Brad." She knelt down and looked into the little girl's face. "That answer your question?"  
  
"What's married?"  
  
"I really have to go, honey." At Meredith's look of disappointment, she continued. "Guess another minute won't hurt. Married is when two people love each other, and they decide they want to stay together. So all their friends and family meet with them and the bride and groom promise to be together always. They give each other little gold rings and then they're married. Okay?"  
  
"Okay." Dawn stood up and headed for the door. "Are Mommy and Daddy married?"  
  
Dawn stopped. "Ah, well ... Technically?"  
  
Buffy walked into the room and surveyed her sister. "You look great Dawn. Really. But shouldn't you be hurrying?"  
  
"Yes," Dawn replied. "Yes, I should." She put her handle on the door and then turned, wearing a wide grin. "And I think you should talk to your daughter." She opened the door, and with a flip of her hair, was gone.  
  
Meredith sat up. "Mommy, are you and Daddy married?"  
  
"Oh." Buffy sat on the couch. "Come and see me, honey." Meredith hopped up beside her mother, and snuggled close.   
  
She lay her hand on her mother's stomach. "Hi, baby."  
  
Buffy smiled. She thought about distracting her daughter with talk about brothers or sisters, but decided an honest question deserved an honest answer. "I love you, honey. You know that. And Daddy loves you too, right?"  
  
"Yep." Meredith lay her head on her mother's lap.  
  
"And Mommy and Daddy love each other, very much."  
  
"And baby?"  
  
"And baby." She took a deep breath. "But no, Mommy and Daddy aren't married. Not exactly. Okay?"  
  
Meredith thought a moment. "Okay." 


	37. Q & A 37

Q & A #37  
  
"Daddy, why is Mommy crying?" Meredith peeked around her parent's bedroom door. Her father had just woken from his afternoon sleep. Her mother was sitting on the edge of the bed, as Spike rubbed her back.  
  
"That's a good question, pet." He picked a pair of leather pants off the bed. "Mommy wanted to wear these."  
  
"I like those pants," Meredith said. "They're shiny."  
  
"Mommy likes them too. But right now," Spike continued, as Buffy started with a fresh sniffle, "they don't fit Mommy."  
  
Buffy ''harrumphed" and threw the pants in the corner. "Don't tease me." She stood up and ran her hands over her belly. "I'm fat."  
  
"Meredith," Spike asked in a serious voice, "Is Mommy fat?"  
  
"No, silly," his daughter answered. "Mommy is beautiful."  
  
"I think so, too." He pulled Buffy down beside him on the bed, and ran his fingers through her hair. "Very beautiful."  
  
"Really?" Buffy sniffed back her tears. "I don't feel beautiful."  
  
"Oh, really. The most beautiful mommy in the world. Isn't she, pet?"  
  
"Yes, Daddy."  
  
"There you have it." He pulled his girls close. "Mommy is twice as beautiful now, because she's a twice mommy." He took Buffy's hand in his, twining his fingers through hers. "And I think it's time I married her. If she'll have me."  
  
Buffy erupted in fresh tears. Meredith looked confused. "Mommy's crying again."  
  
"Happy tears." Buffy wiped her eyes.   
  
"You haven't answered me, love," Spike said.  
  
"Say yes, Mommy," Meredith insisted, starting to bounce up and down on the bed.  
  
"Well," Buffy smiled, "you would make the prettiest flower girl ever." She squeezed Spike's hand. "And I love your Daddy so very, very much. There's just one thing."  
  
"What's that?" Spike asked. Maybe he had made a mistake. Maybe he should have waited for a private time. Maybe he should never have asked.  
  
"I wish I wasn't so darn fat." 


	38. Q & A 38

Q & A #38  
  
"Drawing a picture, honey?" Willow looked down at her coffee table, and the papers strewn across it. "Sorry I don't have any crayons."  
  
"That's okay. I got a pencil." Meredith scribbled intently.  
  
"I see that." Willow knelt down beside the little girl. "Whatcha drawing?"  
  
"My brother." Meredith held up the paper. "See. That's me and that's my brother. When he gets borned."  
  
"Very nice." Willow walked over to her entertainment unit. "You know you have to wait a while. Lots of months left."  
  
"I know. Mommy said. That's okay." She looked over at her babysitter. "We gonna watch a movie, Auntie Willow?"  
  
"I thought you might like this one. Neverending Story." She opened the DVD package and sat the film in the tray.  
  
"It never ends? Ever?" Meredith's eyes went wide.  
  
"That's just the name, honey. It ends. Don't worry, you won't have to stay here forever." She paused before picking up the remote to turn turn on the television. "How did your dinner with Uncle Riley and Auntie Sam go?"  
  
"Okay." Meredith looked down at the table, and pressed the pencil to the paper. "Daddy wasn't happy."  
  
"I would guess he wouldn't be." She flipped on the television. "They have a baby, don't they? Erin?"  
  
"Poor baby." Meredith looked sad.  
  
"Why do you say that, sweetie?" Willow pressed the mute button. "What's wrong with the baby?"  
  
"She talked to me. You know."  
  
Willow took a deep breath. She walked over to her little friend and sat on the floor beside her. "The way you talk to me?" The child nodded. "What did she say?"  
  
"She said she likes Auntie Sam, but she misses her real mommy." Meredith looked up at Willow. "She said a man took her from her mommy and she was scared. And I got scared." She threw her arms around Willow's neck. "I don't want a man to come and take me away from Mommy and Daddy. Will the bad man come, Auntie Willow?"  
  
The witch held the child tightly in her arms. "Not if I can help it." She kissed her forehead. "No. Nobody's going to take you away from your Mommy and Daddy." 


	39. Q & A 39

Q & A #39  
  
"So, everybody's really busy. You aren't too busy for me, are you, Puppy?" Meredith lay her head on her aunt's bed, her eyes level with the kitten's nose.   
  
"I'm gonna have a baby brother, and he'll be mine, and nobody can take him away like Nigel. And Mommy and Daddy are having a wedding. I'm still not sure what that is, but people are coming to our living room and it's like a party I think and I get a new dress. Daddy says I will be very pretty. I hope Jackson doesn't see me.  
  
Auntie Dawn says Jackson is a pig." She frowned at the cat. "Not like Mr. Gordo. He's a good pig, even if Mommy keeps him on her shelf and I can't play with him. Sometimes Mommy says Daddy is a pig, but he just laughs. Daddy is skinny, so I don't think he's a pig. You know, Puppy, Jackson even looks like a pig. I think Auntie Dawn is right.  
  
I have to go to the mall with Mommy and Auntie Dawn and Auntie Willow. Mommy likes the Mall. I think it's too big, and we have to go look at clothes all the time and that's stupid but Mommy says if I'm good she'll take me to the toy store and I can get a present. I want a Harry Potter doll, but maybe that's too much so I'll get a Harry Potter book. You can watch Harry Potter with me tomorrow because Daddy says if he has to watch it with me one more time his head will bloody explode, and I don't want his head to explode but I want to watch Harry Potter."  
  
She rolled onto her back and pulled the kitten on to her chest. It dug its tiny claws into her chest, and she shrieked, before it made itself comfortable and lay down. "You hurt me, Puppy. But that's okay. I love you anyway. 'Sides, you're cuddly too."  
  
She rubbed behind the kitten's ears, as it purred. "Daddy says you have to stay out of sight during the wedding because Uncle Clem is coming and he likes kittens. I don't know why he can't play with you. Daddy says he likes kittens with ketchup but that's silly. I like french fries with ketchup.  
  
Auntie Willow says not to tell. I want to sometimes. When Mommy's sad I hug her, but I want to tell her not to be sad, but Auntie Willow says I have to use my mouth, or don't say nothing at all. It's hard sometimes, and I almost forget.  
  
That baby's like me, you know, Erin? But I'm glad I live with my real Mommy and Daddy. Auntie Sam is nice, but I think she's sad but she loves Erin so that's okay.  
  
You're going to sleep, aren't you, Puppy? That's okay too, because you're really little and you need to sleep. I wonder if the baby will sleep a lot. I wonder if he'll be like me. Daddy says he could be a sister instead but that's okay too. Daddy sleeps a lot, and he's really quiet. Jackson says his daddy snores like a grizzle bear but my Daddy doesn't snore at all. I would like him to play outside with me but it's okay if he can't because he plays with me when he gets up.  
  
You're asleep now, aren't you, Puppy? If I move I'll wake you up, and that would be sad for you, so I will just lay here, really quiet like Daddy." The afghan on the end of the bed floated up and covered them both. "I'm having a sleepy too, okay, Puppy?" She closed her eyes and napped. 


	40. Q & A 40

Q & A #40  
  
Meredith was getting cranky, after a long afternoon of looking through dress shops. "I want to go home, Mommy. Can't we go now?"  
  
Her Aunt Dawn picked her up. "I know, Merry. But your Mom needs to find the right dress, and she doesn't have a heck of a lot of time. And they'll probably need to alter it, which takes even longer."   
  
"Because Mommy is as big as a house," Buffy despaired.  
  
"Oh, right, Buffy," Willow exclaimed. "You're barely showing." She pulled a dress from the rack. "What about this one?"  
  
Meredith wiggled until Dawn put her down, and ran over to the dress. "That one will make you look like a mama's girl."  
  
Willow held up the dress. "Huh?"  
  
"She means it's too frilly. And I agree." Buffy looked around the shop. "I've seen everything here. Lets move on."  
  
Dawn tried to be helpful. "There's a bridal salon at the end of the mall. We haven't looked there."  
  
"I don't think so." Buffy took her daughter's hand. "One kid, and another on the way. Fairytale white isn't going to cut it."  
  
"They have other stuff," Dawn insisted. "We could look."  
  
Meredith looked up at her mother. "We could go home."  
  
Buffy bent down to her daughter's level. "I know this is boring for you, sweetie. But I want you to be part of it all. And we still have to find a dress for you. Tell you what. I'll take you into the toy store and get you that Harry Potter thing you wanted. Then we'll look some more. Okay?"  
  
Meredith sighed. "Okay."  
  
They walked along, looking in shop windows. Meredith screeched as they passed the antique store. "That's it, Mommy. Look, oh look." She pointed to the picture window, at a dress on display.   
  
"Wow." Willow smiled. "I think she's right."  
  
"And I bet it doesn't need altering, with that cut," Dawn added.  
  
"You guys really think so?" Buffy asked. The other girls all nodded. "Good. Because I think so too." She pushed open the shop door. "I just hope it fits." 


	41. Q & A 41

Q & A #41  
  
"Night, sweetheart." Spike kissed his daughter on the forehead.  
  
"Night, Daddy. Night Mommy." Meredith hugged her parents, then snuggled down into the sheets.   
  
She waited until they had gone back to their room. She was supposed to go to sleep. Daddy said it was sleepy time for little girls. But she wasn't at all sleepy. And they would hear her if she got up to play. Her daddy had very good ears, as she had learnt by experience.  
  
She'd left her dolly Elsa in the corner of her room. She wanted to play with her. So Meredith concentrated and watched the doll float up from its resting place and hover over the bed. She tried not to giggle. This had to be silent fun. Slowly, Teddy rose off the bed and into the air beside the doll. She watched them as they danced, back and forth, dipping and twirling above her.  
  
If she hadn't been concentrating, she would have seen him, standing in the door, the book she had left in his room in his hand. He watched, not moving. Watched the toys hover and weave over his daughter. A chill gripped his heart. "Meredith?"  
  
"Daddy?" The toys suddenly dropped onto the bed.  
  
"What were you doing?" He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at his daughter with new eyes. "How did you do that?"  
  
Her face crumbled. "I didn't mean to. I wasn't supposed to show. Auntie Willow will be cross with me."  
  
He took his crying daughter in his arms. "Auntie Willow. Did she do this? Show you how to do this?"  
  
She sniffed. "No. I just do it." She hugged her father, burying her head in his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I didn't hear you. I always can hear Mommy, but I can't hear you. Don't be mad. Please don't be mad."  
  
"I'm not mad, my darling. Just concerned." He patted her back. "How long have you been doing this?"  
  
"Always." She snuggled against him, calming as his voice grew calm. "I move things. And I hear things. I hear people, even when they don't move their mouths. Auntie Willow says I have a gift. But I don't like it."  
  
"What else does Auntie Willow say?" he asked, trying to keep the rage out of his voice.  
  
"She says never tell. She says only she should know." Her tears started afresh. "Stay with me, Daddy. I'm scared to sleep alone."  
  
"Okay, sweet pet. Lie down and we'll cuddle." He lay beside her, his mind racing. When her breath slowed and he knew she was asleep, he rose from the bed. First he would tell Buffy. Then they both needed to have a little talk with Auntie Willow. 


	42. Q & A 42

Q & A #42  
  
Dawn's ghetto blaster roared, while Meredith played with her dolls. Try as she might, she couldn't concentrate on the adults downstairs in the living room. "I want to have a nap now."  
  
"Really?" Dawn shut off the music. "All right. I'll run into my room and get my book. I can read while you sleep." She paused at the door. "Stay in here. I'll be right back."  
  
Meredith climbed under her comforter and listened. She could hear Willow and her mother, even though she didn't understand everything. Her father was a blank, as usual.  
  
"You should have told us. What were you thinking?" Mommy was angry.   
  
"You don't understand. You don't know what she is." There was a pause. "I know, Spike. That came out wrong. But you have to believe me, it wasn't me. I didn't do anything. Just a little protection spell. It's who she is."  
  
[Don't cry, Auntie Willow.]  
  
[Please stop listening, Meredith. This is grown-up business.]  
  
[Okay.] Meredith stopped talking to Willow, but she didn't stop listening. Dawn came into the room and lay beside her, opening the Lord of the Rings. Meredith pretended to be asleep.  
  
"How could I tell you?" Willow asked. "I know you've been talking to Riley."  
  
"What the hell has that got to do with anything?" Another pause. "Shut up, Spike. None of this makes sense."  
  
"Let me start at the beginning." Willow collected her thoughts. They were hazy. "I stumbled on some information on the Internet. About government operations. Secret operations. You remember Marci? Remember when she disappeared, I mean really disappeared? I think the government took her. And I found more evidence about the use of psychics as weapons and covert agents." Yet another pause. "And how could you stop them, Spike, if they knew? Riley's one of them."  
  
"That's ridiculous," Buffy snorted. "That's totally different from the work he does."  
  
"Really?" Willow asked. "Then why did he take a psychic child away from her real mother? Meredith told me. He's part of it."  
  
Her mother's mind was a jumble of emotions. "My god. My poor baby."  
  
She wished she could hear her father through the others' minds, but they were too far away. Everything was so mixed up. "I know, Spike." Willow was saying. "Maybe I was wrong. But I love that little girl. I'd do anything to protect her."  
  
"Why, Willow?" Buffy asked. "Why is she like that? Is it something we did? And what about the new baby? God, Spike, I'm scared."  
  
"I don't think it's because you're the Slayer, or Spike's a vampire. It's just the way she is. Like other children all over the world. Not even magic, really. Something else."   
  
"It can't be true," her mother was saying, over and over. "It can't be true. Not my little girl. Not my ..."  
  
"Mommy!" Meredith screamed, as she felt the stab of pain. 


	43. Q & A 43

Q & A #43  
  
"Mommy!" Meredith wrapped her arms around her mother, as she came through the door with her father. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, honey. I'm just going to go up and lie down." She kissed her daughter's head. "I'm fine. Auntie Dawn upstairs?" Meredith nodded.  
  
"I'll be up in a minute." Spike took his daughter's hand and lead her into the living room, taking her into the living room and sitting her on the couch. "The doctor says mommy's going to be just fine."  
  
"And baby?" Meredith asked.  
  
"Baby is fine too. Mommy has to get more rest, and avoid stress."  
  
"What's strest?" Meredith snuggled against her father's chest.  
  
"Stress is when you worry too much about something. Mommy was worried. We have to help her not be worried. And you can help too." He held her tight. "Auntie Willow told us some things. Now, she was wrong to tell you not to tell us. You know you can tell us anything. But I know why she did it." He held his daughter away from his chest, and looked into her eyes. "The things you do, your special gifts, you are not to tell anyone about except for your family. You are not to read people, and you are not to move things with your mind. Do you understand?"  
  
"I think so." Meredith started to cry. "Did I hurt baby?"  
  
"No." He held her against him. "Oh, no, sweetheart. Mommy was just having trouble dealing with some things. It wasn't your fault. And I told you, baby is okay." He stroked her hair. "Don't worry. A few things will be different, though. Mommy is going to stay home at night with you, and daddy is going to go out to work until after the baby comes. Auntie Willow, Uncle Xander and Auntie Dawn are all going to help. I won't be able to play with you quite as much, but Mommy will be with you more. Is that okay?"  
  
She nodded. "Am I bad, Daddy?"  
  
"No, sweet darling. You're just you. You're my good little girl. But until we figure out what to do, we can't have anyone else finding out your special gifts."  
  
"Are you still going to marry Mommy? 'Cause I have a pretty dress."  
  
He smiled. "Of course I'm going to marry Mommy. And our friends will come and watch. It will be a special day."  
  
"Who will come?"   
  
"Let's see." He shifted her weight on his lap, holding her hand as he counted on her fingers. "Auntie Dawn. Auntie Willow. Uncle Xander. Auntie Sophie. Uncle Clem ..."  
  
"Nigel?" she asked brightly.  
  
"We're going to invite Uncle Giles and Auntie Anya, but England is a long way. Don't be disappointed if they can't come. I think that's it. And the minister."  
  
She looked down at her fingers and realized a few hadn't been used. "What about Uncle Riley and Auntie Sam?"   
  
"That's a good question. If they aren't invited they'll think something's up, but if they are ... I don't know, pet. But I think not." He sat her beside him and stood up. "Let's go see Mommy. I'm sure she could use a cuddle about now."  
  
Meredith took his hand. "Okay." 


	44. Q & A 44

Q & A #44  
  
Meredith played with the kitten on the living room rug, while Clem twitched in his chair. "Meredith, I think maybe you should take that upstairs."  
  
"Why? Daddy says you like kittens." She rubbed Puppy's tummy as he lay on his back, giggling as he wriggled under her hand.  
  
He tapped his claws on the arm of the chair. "Because it looks very taste ... very del ... Because I'm allergic."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Uncle Clem. You weren't sneezing. My friend Georgia sneezes when she's 'lergic." She picked up the kitten. "Come on, Puppy. You're going to stay in Auntie Dawn's room." She ran up the stairs with her little bundle, as Clem sighed in relief. She was back downstairs in an instant. "Do you feel better now?" she asked.  
  
"Much." He looked around the room. "Want to watch TV?"  
  
"Nope." She thought a moment. "Want to play dress up?"  
  
"Not really." He tapped his foot. "When are your parents getting home?"  
  
"I don't know. They had to do stuff." She jumped up and went to the shelf. "Want to play a game?"  
  
"Sure." He stood up and walked over to her. "Candyland? That sounds good. You'll have to show me how." He pulled the box from the shelf and sat it on the floor.  
  
"It's easy." She opened the lid and pulled out the board. "Uncle Clem, what does a best man do?"  
  
"Guess you've got weddings on the mind, huh? Let me see." He scratched his bald head. "Give the groom a bachelor party."  
  
"What's a bachelor?"   
  
"The man who isn't married. Like your dad, sort of. 'Cept he's not really a bachelor either, cause of you and your mom. Oh, and he makes sure the groom has the rings, and he just sees that he's okay. Holds him up if he faints during the ceremony. Stuff like that." He pulled out the game pieces. "Why?"  
  
"Cause I heard Daddy tell Mommy he was going to ask you to be the best man, and I think Daddy is the best man."  
  
"Really?" Clem smiled. "Best man? Nobody ever asked me to be the best man before. Wow."  
  
"Say yes, Uncle Clem, when he asks you." She beamed up at him. "I like you. You're nice."  
  
"Thanks, Meredith." He patted the top of her head. "I like you too. Oh, and don't tell your dad you told me. I think it's supposed to be a surprise."  
  
Meredith looked troubled. "I'm not supposed to keep secrets from Daddy and Mommy."   
  
"Oh, that's a good rule." He thought a bit. "But if you don't tell him you told me, it's not really a secret. It's just not telling."  
  
The child was confused, but she didn't want to argue. "Okay." 


	45. Q & A 45

Q & A #45  
  
Buffy lay on her bed, her daughter curled up beside her. "Daddy's at work," Meredith said.  
  
"That's right, honey."   
  
"Don't be scared. Daddy's big and strong." She snuggled closer, her head on her mother's abdomen. "He'll come home to me and you and baby. Cause he loves us."  
  
"I know. I won't be scared." She shifted in the bed, taking Meredith into her arms. "How do you know? When I'm scared. Do you feel it? Hear what I'm thinking?"  
  
"Feel it." The child's face crinkled up in thought. "I feel things, and I know you feel them. I can know your head words, too, when I try. Auntie Willow says it's not polite. Sometimes I can't help it, but mostly I can."  
  
"And Daddy? Can you know what Daddy's feeling?"   
  
Her daughter shook her head. "Daddy's all quiet. Daddy, and Uncle Clem, and Auntie Anya. And sometimes Auntie Willow, when she makes it be."  
  
"Can you shut us out?" Buffy remembered a time long ago, when she was flooded by thoughts. All the noise of all the minds in the world. She shuddered with fear that her daughter could face such a burden.  
  
"I only hear when I listen. And move things when I try." She looked over at the dresser, and a hairbrush rose into the air. "See, Mommy?"  
  
"It's amazing." She stared at the brush. "Put it down." It floated back to the dresser top.  
  
"Secrets are wrong, right Mommy?"  
  
"Yes, sweetie. Secrets can be bad. You mustn't keep secrets from Daddy and I. But you still can't tell the things you can do to other people. They wouldn't understand. I'll explain when you're older."  
  
"I'm older. I know." She sat up on the bed and looked at her mother. "I want to stay with you. Not like Erin. I won't tell Uncle Riley."  
  
"Just call him Mr. Finn." Buffy noted her daughter's crestfallen expression. Something was wrong. "Any other secrets you want to tell me?"  
  
"I told Uncle Clem. About he's the best man. And I told a secret to Uncle Xander."  
  
"That's okay, sweetie. Daddy's asking Clem tonight, anyway." She stroked her daughter's hair. "Did you tell Uncle Xander about what you can do? Because we're going to tell him. We can trust him, and it will be easier if he knows."  
  
"Nope." She whispered. "I told him Auntie Willow loves him."  
  
"I think he knows that, honey. They've been friends since they weren't much bigger than you."  
  
"No," Meredith said with insistence. "She wants to kiss him. On the mouth. Like you and Daddy."  
  
"Really?" Buffy considered, smiling. "Thanks, sweetheart. That's really ... interesting." She caught herself. "But you still shouldn't tell Auntie Willow's secrets. They're private."  
  
Meredith snuggled back down against her mother. "Okay." 


	46. Q & A 46

Q & A #46  
  
The handful of guests gathered in the living room. Spike may have been overdressed in his black tuxedo, but he wanted the best for his girls. His daughter, all lavender ribbons and bows, held his hand as she bounced up and down with excitement. Clem rested his hand on Spike's shoulder, and smiled.  
  
"Is it time for us to get married, Daddy?" Meredith asked.  
  
"Yes, love," he smiled. "I do think it's time."  
  
The classical CD on the stereo played "Ode to Joy", as Dawn descended the staircase. She was beaming. Her sister was five steps behind her. Buffy held the stair rail as she walked to the music, careful not to trip. She clasped a nosegay of white roses in her free hand.   
  
Spike smiled at Dawn, and nodded. As she stepped to the ground floor level, he could see his bride unobscured. She'd been coy at hiding her dress, despite his efforts to peek. He hadn't expected this. She was wearing an ivory lace dropped waist dress, from the 1920s. A simple platinum circlet held the lace veil covering her hair.  
  
"Isn't Mommy pretty?" Meredith asked.  
  
Spike squeezed his daughter's hand. "Mommy is glorious."  
  
Buffy walked to her little family and took Spike's hand. They stood before Willow's friend, Reverend Annie of the Church of Universal Redemption, as she started the vows. "Friends and family, we are gathered in this loving home to witness the bond between these two special people. Marriage is the ..."  
  
She was interrupted by a knocking sound. Buffy rolled her eyes as Willow pulled open the front door. The tall man standing there shrugged, as his girlfriend rushed into the room. "I am so sorry, guys, but Angel wouldn't move until almost sundown, even though I offered him a perfectly good blanket to hide under, and then we got caught in construction and ..." She looked at the couple standing in front of the minister. "Oh, god, you've already started." She turned around and slapped Angel on the arm. "See. I told you."  
  
Buffy waved. "Hi, guys." Spike scowled. Angel quietly led Cordy to the side of the room.   
  
Rev. Annie continued. "Marriage is the outward union of the inner bond that already exists between two hearts. Buffy and William ..."  
  
Meredith tugged at her father's coattail. "Who's William?"  
  
"I am, pet," her father answered.  
  
"Is that your groomed name?"  
  
"Yeah. All right." He looked back at the minister. "You were at 'Buffy and William...'"  
  
"Buffy and William express their love and bond today with all you loved ones present. If there is anyone here that has just cause why they may not marry, speak now ..."  
  
There was another knock at the door. "Bloody hell," Spike groaned between his teeth, as Willow once again opened the door.  
  
"I am so sorry we're late, but there were no rental cars available. So we had to call a cab. Terribly sorry."  
  
"Giles!" Buffy ran into her former watcher's arms.  
  
"Nigel!" Meredith ran to her Auntie Anya and reached up towards her little friend, perched in his mother's arms.  
  
"We really don't have all night," Spike said, as he led his family back to the centre of the room.  
  
The rest of the vows continued without interruption. "I do now declare that they are husband and wife." Spike pulled Buffy into his arms and kissed her, then reached down for his daughter. Her parents kissed her, one on each cheek.  
  
"Are we married now?" Meredith asked.  
  
"Yes, pet," Spike answered, tears in his eyes.  
  
Meredith smiled. "Okay." 


	47. Q & A 47

Q & A #47  
  
The buffet style dinner over, the guests mingled in the living room, balancing cake plates and chatting. Giles carried on a spirited conversation with Clem, Buffy and Cordelia discussed the state of the Sunnydale mall, Angel and Spike compared soul notes, and Anya held Nigel on the couch, while Dawn and Meredith, sitting on either side of her, took turns tickling his tummy. There was a general air of festivity, happiness for the wedding and the reunion it brought.  
  
Willow and Xander stood in the hallway. Willow held the white rose nosegay Buffy had given her, in lieu of throwing it. "Thank you for looking out for my little girl," Buffy had whispered, as she kissed Willow's cheek. The red haired witch twisted the ribboned handle in her fingers.  
  
"You look great, Will," Xander smiled. "Beautiful."  
  
"Thanks." His friend looked up at him. "You don't look half bad yourself."  
  
"Buffy told me. About Meredith. That's just ... wow. So weird. And you've been looking out for her. Actually, it explains a lot. About things she said."  
  
Willow bit her lip and frowned. "I should have told them, a long time ago. I thought I was doing the right thing, but it wasn't my place. I just worried so much about her. She's a great kid." Her brow furrowed. "What things she said?"  
  
"Oh, you know," he tried to brush his comment off. "Stuff." He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms. Tried to look nonchalent. "So, you seeing anybody new?"  
  
"Nope." She looked down at the roses. "I've dated a bit. You know. But nobody special. No one since Tara ...." He grasped her shoulder, and she looked up at him. "I'm okay. It was a long time ago. How about you?"  
  
"Me? Ol' 'Love Em and Leave 'Em Harris'?" He sighed. "Nada. But I'm okay too. I have work. I have my friends." His eyes searched her face. "Good friends." He sucked in a breath. "We should go back in the living room." They turned, almost tripping over the little girl who had been staring up at them.  
  
"You guys are silly. Uncle Xander wants you to kiss him. Auntie Willow wants you to kiss her. Why don't you just kiss? Mommy and Daddy do it all the time."  
  
Xander knelt down beside her. "Listen, kid. You are one nosey little Parker. Why don't you go give your mom a hug? And your dad, for that matter. He's always up for it."  
  
"And one for you." Meredith threw her little arms around Xander's neck, then ran back into the living room.  
  
He stood up and turned back to Willow. "Kids. Say the darndest things. Want some punch?"  
  
But Willow was staring at him intently. "What she said. About what you want."  
  
Xander was flustered. "Look, Willow. She's just a kid. And I know you aren't interested in me that way. I mean, hey, 'gay now', right? I got that a long time ago." He started to head back towards the others, but her hand on his arm stopped him.  
  
"I've thought a lot, Xander. About who I am. I loved Tara. Loved her more than I ever had anyone. And I made certain assumptions about myself." She took his hand in his. "But the older I get, the more I realize. I just love who I love. Next time might be a Fyarl demon. Who knows?"  
  
"Next time?" Xander squeezed her fingers holding his, and looked down into her eyes. "What about this time?" She bent her head up, as he leaned down. The kiss was sweet.  
  
"That's what I mean," a little voice said in triumph.  
  
In the living room, the telephone rang. Buffy picked it up. "Hello?" Her eyes opened wide. "Ah, hi Riley." 


	48. Q & A 48

Q & A #48  
  
Buffy tried to regain her composure. A call from Riley on her wedding day was the last thing she expected. "I'm just ... What's up?" She looked around the living room at the guests. She knew Riley would find out, but she had wanted to handle things in her own time. "To be honest? Getting married. No, just a few people. Immediate family, really."  
  
Cordy was about to say something, when Willow clamped a hand over her mouth. Angel reacted, but at Willow's glare, backed off.  
  
"Well, you didn't invite me to yours, either. Yes, it was very nice. Quiet and intimate. Nope, no helicopters. So, just call to chat?" Spike was twitching next to her, holding Meredith in his arms, trying to listen to both ends of the conversation.   
  
"Is that Uncle Riley?" Meredith asked.  
  
Buffy covered the receiver with her hand. "Yes, sweetie. Now let Mommy talk." She put the phone back to her ear. "Thanks. I appreciate that. I think we'll be very happy. We already are."  
  
The guests shifted awkwardly. Something was obviously wrong. Only Willow, Xander and Dawn had an inkling of the importance of the call. She held her breath.  
  
"Sam?" Buffy shook her head. "Not since the day after you were here for dinner. Sure, I'll call you if I hear from her. Something wrong?" She looked at Spike. Something was up. "No, sure, Riley. Yeah. Talk to you later." She hung up the phone.  
  
Cordy pulled away from Willow's hand. "What the hell was that about?"   
  
Angel gave her arm a reassuring squeeze, then looked at Buffy. "Do you want to explain to us what's going on?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Not really. I can't." She looked at her guests. "Trust me, you guys. I can't get into it right now."  
  
The guests nodded and went back to their discussions, occasionally glancing at Buffy warily.  
  
Spike put Meredith on the floor. "Go play with Nigel." He took a shaking Buffy in his arms. "What did he want?"  
  
"He asked if I'd heard from Sam, but then tried to brush it off like it was no big deal. Something's wrong."  
  
There was a cold edge to Spike's voice. "Think she's smartened up and left the wanker?"  
  
"I don't know." She looked into her husband's eyes. "But I'm not going to let him spoil our day."  
  
Spike smiled. "Bloody right, wife."   
  
Xander and Willow went into the kitchen, getting two bottles of champagne and some ginger ale from the fridge. Willow picked up a tray of glasses. Her hands were shaking, and the glasses tinkled together. Xander put the bottles down and steadied the tray. "It'll be okay. He didn't think anything was up."  
  
"Is that what life will be for them? Walking on eggshells? Maybe it would have been better if they didn't know."   
  
Xander wrapped his arms around her. "They need to know. And you couldn't carry that on your back all by yourself, anyway." He kissed her forehead. "Slayer and vamp. If they can deal with that, they can deal with anything. Now, let's get this nice sparkly booze into the other room." 


	49. Q & A 49

Q & A #49  
  
"What's a honeymoon?" Meredith asked, pulling a chocolate chip out of the cookie dough.  
  
Dawn flicked her bottom with the tea towel. "Hey! Those are for baking, not eating."  
  
Meredith pouted. "Daddy lets me eat them."  
  
"Yeah." Dawn scooped the last spoonful of the dough and dropped it on the baking sheet. "I bet he does." She pulled open the oven door, and shoved the tray inside. "But I'm not your daddy. And I say we keep the chips in the cookies."  
  
"Are they ready yet?"  
  
Dawn threw up her hands. "I just put them in. Give them fifteen minutes, okay?"  
  
Meredith considered. "Okay." She climbed up on a kitchen chair to wait. "But what's a honeymoon? Is that like the man in the moon?"  
  
"Not really." Dawn put the empty bowl into the sink and ran the water. She swished the water around in it and turned towards her niece. "A honeymoon is when two people get married and they want to spend a little time together. Alone."  
  
"They don't want me," the little girl grumbled.  
  
"Oh, no sweetie." Dawn through her arms around her niece and hugged. "They want you. Heck, I had to talk your daddy out of taking you. But they need a little time away. Just to be with each other. Cause that's what married people do."  
  
"Did they go far, far away?" The child tried to put the pieces together. Her eyes widened. "Did they go to the moon?"  
  
Dawn tousled Meredith's hair. "No, silly. No rocket ship. They went to the Sunnydale Arms for the weekend. If I know your mom, she's spent some quality time throwing up in their nice, fancy bathroom. And if I know your dad ..." The telephone rang. "I so know your dad." She picked up the phone. "Hi Spike. No, just a hunch."  
  
"Daddy, Daddy ..." the little girl cried, reaching for the phone.  
  
"Yeah, here she is. No, she's been good. Mostly." She handed the receiver to Meredith. "Here you go, kid."  
  
"Hi Daddy." Her face broke into a wide grin. "When you coming home? Okay. We're making cookies. I'll save you one, and Mommy too. How's baby? Oh, that's good. I love you Daddy. Kiss Mommy for me. Okay." She handed the phone to her aunt. "He wants to talk to you."  
  
"Hey, Spike. Oh, Buffy. How's it going? Oh, sorry. I packed you some soda crackers in your bag. Are you getting any nookie time in? Well, that's good, anyway. Yeah, she's fine. Here she is." She handed the receiver back.  
  
"Hi Mommy. I love you. I have a cookie for you. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Mommy." She listened to the buzz on the line. "She hunged up."  
  
Dawn put the receiver back on the cradle. "You can save her a cookie, but she'll just toss it. Geez, I thought she'd be over all that by now."  
  
"Why would Mommy throw my nice cookie?" When her aunt just stared at her, she changed the subject. "What do people do on honeymoons?"  
  
"I'll tell you when you're older." She went over to the oven. "But kissage is involved." She pulled the tray out and set it on top of the stove. "Hey, they're done. Let them cool for a minute, and you can have one. And I said one."  
  
"What's nookie?"  
  
Dawn stuck a cookie in the child's mouth and steered her into the living room. "Let's watch Monsters, Inc."  
  
"Okay," Meredith replied, through her cookie. 


	50. Q & A 50

Q & A #50  
  
Buffy was finishing up the dishes, as Meredith sat watching her on a kitchen chair, swinging her legs. "Did you have a nice honeymoon, Mommy?"  
  
Buffy smiled. "Very nice. Short, but nice."  
  
"Did you throwed up all the time?"  
  
Buffy put the last plate into the rack and turned around, wiping her hands on a tea towel. "Not all the time. Why?"  
  
"Cause Auntie Dawn said you would. It didn't sound like much fun. You could have stayed home with me and done that."  
  
Buffy sat on a chair beside her daughter. "Auntie Dawn shouldn't worry about me. It's getting better, it really is. And it was very nice for Mommy and Daddy to have a pretty room all to ourselves for the weekend." She took her daughter's tiny hand. "But of course we missed you. We would always miss you."  
  
"You went away. Can I go away?"  
  
Buffy was surprised. "Why? Where do you want to go?"  
  
Meredith frowned. "You and Daddy said I could go to school. And my friends are going to school, and I'm not." She looked into her mother's eyes and pouted. "Did you forget, Mommy? Cause you said it would be good. And you said I should go. But I'm not going."  
  
"Oh, sweetie." Buffy reached over and pulled Meredith onto her ever decreasing lap, and held her close. "Of course we didn't forget. We just aren't sure that it's the best thing anymore. You would have to be so very careful all the time, not to listen to people's thoughts, or move things with your mind. That's a lot to ask a little girl."  
  
"I could do it, Mommy. I want to go to school."  
  
"I know." Buffy combed her fingers through her daughter's soft hair. "I want you to go. Someday. But not just yet. It's safer." So hard to see her little girl sad. "Stay here with Mommy and Daddy, for a while longer?"  
  
The child sighed. "Okay." The tears were welling up. "But I wouldn't be a bad girl. Nobody would know I can do stuff."  
  
"Oh, honey." Buffy held her tight. "You aren't a bad girl. You're my good little girl. It's just that nothing is more important than keeping you safe from harm. Nothing. You and baby and Daddy."  
  
"And you, Mommy." She nodded her head deliberately. "I'll be a good girl. I'll stay home."  
  
There was a rapping at the back door. "Who could that be?" Buffy asked. She put her daughter down onto the floor and went to the back door, peeking out through the curtains. "Honey," she said, "go upstairs to Daddy's room, and stay there until I get you."  
  
"Why, Mommy?" Her eyes opened wide. "What are they doing here?"  
  
"I don't know. Now, scoot." She watched her daughter head out of the kitchen, then cracked open the door.   
  
"Buffy, please, can you help me?" The visitor shifted the weight of the small child in her arms. "Please, can I come in? I don't know where else to turn."  
  
Buffy opened the door. "Come in, Sam." 


	51. Q & A 51

Q & A #51  
  
Buffy handed the mug to the woman on the couch. "Two creams, no sugar, right?"  
  
Sam looked up with a look of gratitude. "Right." She glanced down at her eleven month old daughter, playing contentedly on the living room rug with a set of brightly coloured blocks. "She's so precious. So ..." The ex-soldier brushed away a tear. "I'm sorry. You don't need this. I just didn't know where else to go."  
  
Buffy sat beside her on the couch. "What happened. You and Riley? You seemed so happy."  
  
"I love Finn." Sam shook her head, as if trying to shake out the pain. "I love him, but it's just so strange. There's something he's not telling me. He's changed." She looked down into her coffee, but didn't drink it. "And maybe I've changed."  
  
"Did something happen?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Our life was perfect. Oh, maybe things weren't as exciting for me anymore. No. Belay that. Having her was excitement enough." She ran her fingers up and down the handle of the mug. "We were so happy. I thought I had everything I wanted."  
  
Buffy's tone was calm, measured. "What did he do?"   
  
"I found blood on the baby's sock. Not much. And there was a little pin prick mark on her heel." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I asked him about it, but he said he hadn't noticed. Maybe it was an insect bite, he said."  
  
"But it wasn't?"  
  
Sam's lips were pursed, her eyes shut. "No. I walked into her room a few days later. I guess he didn't hear me coming." She sighed, a deep, troubled sigh. "He had a needle. He was injecting her with something. I saw it, Buffy. Saw it clear as day."  
  
"He was injecting her? That's just ..."  
  
"Bizarre? Insane? So I spun him around. Said 'Finn, what the hell are you doing?' But he must have shoved the hypodermic in his pocket. Denied everything. Said I looked tired, I should lie down. I was imagining things."  
  
"But you weren't."  
  
"Things started to come together. Little pieces. We got her so fast. It shouldn't have been that easy. And her doctor. Riley came up with his name. I didn't know anything about him. Little things. Nothing things." She took a long drink of the hot liquid, gulping it down. "I think he's doing some kind of experiment on her." She put her hand on Buffy's, who tried not to flinch. "She's just a little girl. Just a baby." She squeezed Buffy's hand. "Please don't think I'm crazy. I confronted him, and he almost hit me. Then he laughed it off." Tears were flowing down her cheeks now. "I took my car and drove to the closest city. Made a paper trail. Used charge cards for everything, gas, hotel. Took out just enough cash to buy a second hand wreck from a teenager and drove here. I'm sorry I didn't call."  
  
"He did." Buffy said softly. "He called. Looking for you. Last Friday night."  
  
Sam jumped at the voice from the doorway. "Company, pet?"  
  
Meredith peeked her head around her father's legs. "Hi Erin." 


	52. Q & A 52

Q & A #52  
  
"You can't sleep, can you?"   
  
"I'm a vampire. It's the middle of the night." Spike rolled onto his side and looked at his wife. "What's your excuse?"  
  
She stared up at the ceiling. "I think you know."  
  
"Of course I know." He took her hand and held it tight. "Why did you ask her to stay?"  
  
"How could I ask her to leave? After what she told me?" She lay her other hand on top of his, holding to her chest. "Thanks for putting up the crib."  
  
"Had to do it eventually." His eyes narrowed. "You don't trust her though, do you?"  
  
"Not in the least."  
  
"Good," he smiled. "I was afraid you were goin' soft on me, Slayer."  
  
"Me?" she chuckled. "Buffy the bitch? I think not." She snuggled next to him. "Tomorrow, we get them to a shelter, and she can deal. I'd like to help more, but it's just too dangerous. Having them here. Not with ..."  
  
"Not with Riley Finn, Initiative's darling, looking for them." He sighed. "You think it's a setup? Think she's called him?"  
  
"No. I don't think he's made the connection about Meredith. I think she's probably telling the truth."  
  
"And if she's not?" He raised his left eyebrow.  
  
"Then we'll just have to kill them."  
  
"That's my girl." He lay his hand on her belly. "Life's complicated, innit?"  
  
"When wasn't it?" She looked up at him, concern in her eyes. "What if they're something wrong with the baby? What if ... what if it has gummy little vamp teeth, and baby wrinklies?"  
  
"Sounds right handsome." He kissed her. "The baby will be fine. We'll be fine."  
  
"Did you hear something?" She looked at him, but he shook his head. "I'm on edge. That's all. What do you think they're talking about in there? Talking with their minds. I bet they are."  
  
"Erin's eleven month's old, love. Doubt she's much of a conversationalist."  
  
The bedroom door creaked open. "Mommy? Daddy? You awake?"  
  
"We're awake, pet. Worried? Want to climb in?"  
  
"Nope." The child stayed at the door. "Erin's thirsty. She wants her bottle."  
  
"Oh," Buffy said, pushing herself out of the bed. "Sorry. I didn't hear her cry."  
  
"She didn't." Meredith opened the door wider, as her mother stepped into the hall. "She told me."  
  
"Don't tell Auntie Sam that. Please, sweetheart." She headed towards the stairs. "I'll get her a bottle out of the fridge."  
  
Meredith turned towards her room. "Okay." 


	53. Q & A 53

Q & A #53  
  
"Will she be okay?" Meredith snuggled next to her father on the couch.   
  
"Who? Mommy?" Spike lay the copy of 'Yertle the Turtle' in his lap. "She'll be fine. I thought you wanted a story?"  
  
"I thought I did. Now I don't." She closed her story book and watched her father lay it on the coffee table. "Erin."  
  
"Ah, yes." He put his arms around his daughter. "Right as rain, I'm sure."  
  
"Where are they going? Why did Mommy go with them?"  
  
"Mommy went because she knew a safe place to take them. A place where Sam can have some time to think, without worrying about being found." He pulled Meredith on his lap, and she rested her head on his chest. "Thought you weren't going to suck your thumb anymore?"  
  
Meredith pulled the offending digit from her mouth. "I forgot." She looked up at her father. "Why did Uncle Riley hurt his baby girl? You would never hurt me."  
  
"Don't call him that. And I don't know." His eyes narrowed. "How did you know? And what do you know?"  
  
"Erin told me he hurt her. He scared her."  
  
"And Sam?"  
  
"Auntie Sam didn't hurt her. She loves her. Anybody can tell that, Daddy." She tugged the afghan off the back of the couch. "I'm cold."  
  
"Sorry, love." Spike pulled the blanket over the both of them. "I'm glad her Mommy loves her. She needs that now. They both need that."  
  
"I asked Erin about her real Mommy. The one they took her from. And you know what she said, Daddy?"  
  
"Tell me, pet."  
  
"She said, 'What real Mommy?' I think she forgot. She just knows Auntie Sam now. Isn't that a sad thing, Daddy? It's scary."  
  
"You're shivering." He tugged the blanket up and covered her shoulders. "Why does that scare you, sweetheart? Auntie Sam will take good care of Erin."  
  
"What if it was me, Daddy? What if the bad man took me from you and Mommy, and I couldn't find you? And what if they made me have a new mommy, and I didn't know you any more, and I didn't know Mommy or baby or anyone." She was crying, tears on her little cheeks. "Don't let them take me, Daddy. Don't let the bad man come."  
  
He rubbed circles on her back, the way he had calmed her when she was a tiny baby. "Shhh. My sweetest love. I will never let anyone take you. Never let anyone hurt you. Neither will Mommy. You know that."  
  
"Did Erin's real daddy say that?"  
  
His hand paused. "Your daddy is saying that. And your daddy means it. Nothing will happen to you. Nothing." But he pulled the afghan tighter around himself.  
  
When Meredith fell asleep in his arms, he cherished the feeling of her warm, even breathing. After a while, he lay her down on the couch, covered her with the afghan, and went into the kitchen to start dinner. 


	54. Q & A 54

Q & A #54  
  
The park was an oasis of serenity. In the midmorning sun, mothers watched their children on the playground equipment, as people walked their dogs along the path into the ravine. In daylight, Sunnydale seemed like any small American town, where normal people led normal lives.  
  
Buffy watched her daughter from the bench, sitting next to Willow. She smiled as one of the mothers, Monica, Buffy thought her name was, alternated pushing her own daughter and Meredith on the swings. She waved, and Meredith waved back, laughing as she swept into the sky.  
  
"You never heard from Riley again?" Willow asked.  
  
"Nope." Buffy kept one eye on her happy daughter, the other on her friend. "Sam covered her tracks pretty well. And it's not like we're best friends or anything. I'm hoping he figured she went someplace else."  
  
"And if he didn't? If he calls again? Or shows up on your doorstep?"  
  
"I'll lie. You know I'm pretty good at that. Heck, I lied about my feelings for Spike long enough." Buffy picked her tote off the ground and pulled out a paper bag. "Want a sandwich?" When Willow shook her head, Buffy pulled out a segment and took a bite, swallowing. "I'm so hungry all the time, now that the vomiting finally seems to be over. Anyway, Sam will be moving out of town soon. They figure at the shelter she'd be better off someplace where she has no connections. It'll be hard, starting over, but they'll help her."  
  
Meredith suddenly appeared at her mother's knee. "Can I have a bite?"  
  
"Sure, sweetie." Buffy pulled out a piece of chicken from the sandwich and popped it in her daughter's mouth. "Chew it up good."  
  
Meredith smiled as she chewed. "I'm going on the slide now, Mommy."  
  
"Sound's like fun. The baby slide, right? The other one's too big."  
  
Meredith put her hands on her hips, and Willow tried to suppress a laugh. Baby Buffy. "I'm a big girl, Mommy. But okay." She ran back towards her friends.  
  
"Erin's adopted. Will that be a problem?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy nodded. "Could be. If they find her." Her face hardened. "Though, if Riley finds them, that might not be her only problem. How could I be so wrong about him?"  
  
"He changed, Buffy. I don't think he was like that. Not before."  
  
"Which begs the question," Buffy closed her eyes and sighed, "Is it my fault? Did I do something to him?"  
  
Willow patted her hand. "It's not all about you, silly. I wouldn't discount the big bad government, and scary hush hush military stuff. Can't be good for a guy."  
  
"Mommy!"   
  
Buffy looked up at her daughter, and her eyes grew wide. "I told you the baby slide," she called.  
  
Meredith was standing at the top of the tall slide, waving her hands. "I'm a big girl." Meredith looked down the long slope of the slide, and panicked. She stood at the top, frozen. "Mommy! Too high!" The line up of children behind her yelled at her to go. The boy behind her, impatient, gave her a shove, but instead of heading down the slide, she lost her balance and plummeted over the side of the platform.   
  
Buffy rushed towards her. She wasn't going to make it.  
  
"Soft," Willow muttered.   
  
Meredith hit the ground.   
  
Buffy screamed. She knelt beside her little girl, terrified of what she'd find.  
  
Meredith looked up at her, giggling. "That was fun."  
  
The circle of mothers and children that gathered parted as Buffy carried her daughter away from the slide. "Is she okay?" Monica asked. "I was sure ..."  
  
"She's fine. Right honey?"  
  
Meredith nodded with enthusiasm. "I'm fine. I want to go again."  
  
Buffy mouthed "Thank you," to Willow, then put her daughter on the ground. "Don't you ever do that again. Ever." She took Meredith's hand. "Time to go home." A tear trickled down the young mother's cheek. 'I should have been paying more attention,' she thought. 'How can I watch two kids, when I can't even look after one?' But to Meredith she added, "Your daddy is not going to be happy about this." 


	55. Q & A 55

Because of issues with my version of Netscape and ff.net, the following link will take you to Q&A.   
  
The earlier link has been changed. This is a new one. You might want to bookmark it.  
  
  
  
My other fanfics are here under the name, Colleen.  
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